Scattered Quotes

Lucifer Morningstar Quotes

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Quote from Lucifer 3x11 - Tio: Where are you two from? Lucifer Morningstar: Down south. Amenadiel: Up north.
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Misty: Well, they told me to do what I love, and turns out I love sex.

Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, so you're a rebel.

Misty: I guess so. And if you really want to rebel, move to L.A., right? All I know is that I have never been happier, freer.
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Amenadiel: There must be hundreds of p*rn stars in Hell.

Lucifer Morningstar: Sadly, no, on account of all the good work they do here on Earth, I assume.
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Lucifer Morningstar: Obviously, "R" is for reverse, not "really fast."
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Quote from Lucifer 3x11 - Amenadiel: Don't you need some sort of key to start it? Lucifer Morningstar: You know me, Brother. I can turn anything on.
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Quote from Lucifer 3x11 - Amenadiel: What, there's no music in Hell? Lucifer Morningstar: Only for torture, and usually out of tune. Lately, we've been playing music by this chap named Bieber. Gosh, you should hear the screams.
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Lucifer Morningstar: Why are there holes in your dress?

Amenadiel: It's a robe.

Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, I apologize. Why are there holes in your dress?
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Lucifer Morningstar: I wonder why I didn't figure it out sooner. "The world's first murderer, marked by God and doomed to walk the earth alone for a tortured eternity." It's quite the moniker. Yet, still, nowhere near as ridiculous as the Sinnerman. Wouldn't you agree... Cain?

Marcus Pierce (Cain): You may as well pour me one, too.
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Lucifer Morningstar: You think I care what Pierce thinks?

Chloe Decker: No. I don't think you care what anyone thinks.

Lucifer Morningstar: That's not true. I told you, I did this for us.

Chloe Decker: For us? For the team? I had your back on this, Lucifer, and, for whatever reason, you still felt the need to go behind mine.
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Lucifer Morningstar (to Sinnerman): I'll boil you alive. Yeah. Top most painful way to die, according to BuzzFeed.
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Lucifer Morningstar: Are we sure he's not celestial? (talking about Sinnerman)

Mazikeen: Are you questioning my expertise? He's definitely human.

Lucifer Morningstar: And you tried waterboarding?

Mazikeen: Twice.

Lucifer Morningstar: Bamboo under the nails?

Mazikeen: Do I look like an amateur?

Lucifer Morningstar: Nickelback on repeat?!

Mazikeen: That's where I started.
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Lucifer Morningstar: See? I'm telling you. Obi-Wan Can't-See-Me is Maggie's only hope.
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Mazikeen: I asked you to talk. And you blow me off and hide in a freezer? I thought we were past all of this.

Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, sure, yeah, thought I'd just hang around in here like a frozen side of beef just to avoid you. Hello! I was a prisoner! The Sinnerman had me trapped here.
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Lucifer Morningstar: I may have gotten distracted for a while, but then I realized granting favors defines me. I mean, you wouldn't ask Superman not to fly? A Kardashian not to selfie?
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Quote from Lucifer 3x09 - Linda Martin: Why is your gift desire? Lucifer Morningstar: Well, that's a good question, actually, I suppose. When I first went to angel school, they sorted us into different houses for different powers. Linda Martin: There's a school for angels? Lucifer Morningstar: No. There's no Hogwarts in the sky. Linda Martin: Right. Obviously.
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