70+ Best 'Chandler Bing' Quotes | Scattered Quotes

Chandler Bing Quotes

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Chandler Bing: Look, Phoebe, I wanted to meet her in person too. But she's married. She has a husband.

Phoebe Buffay: What if the husband person is the wrong guy and you are the right guy? You don't get chances like this all the time. If you don't meet her now, you'll kick yourself when you're 80... which is hard to do and that's how you break a hip.

Joey Tribbiani: What's going on?

Phoebe Buffay: We're wondering if Chandler's girlfriend is a girl.

Joey Tribbiani: Just ask her how long she's gonna live. Women live longer than men.

Chandler Bing: How do you not fall down more?

Chandler Bing (to Rachel): How you holding up there, tiger? Oh. Sorry. When my parents were getting divorced, I got a lot of "tigers." Ahem. I got a lot of "champs," "chiefs," "sports." Ahem. I even got a "governor."

Joey Tribbiani: Whose eggs do you like better, his or mine, huh?

Chandler Bing: Well, I like both eggs equally.

Joey Tribbiani: Oh, come on! Nobody likes two kinds of eggs equally. You like one better, and I wanna know which.

Chandler Bing: What's the difference? Your eggs aren't here anymore. You took your eggs, and you left! Did you really expect me to never find new eggs?

(The group watches old home videos...)

Joey Tribbiani: Some girl ate Monica!

Monica Geller: Shut up! The camera adds ten pounds.

Chandler Bing: So how many cameras are actually on you?

Joey Tribbiani: I'm always gonna look back and wonder if it was because of my talent... or because of, you know, the little general.

Chandler Bing: Didn't you used to call it the little major?

Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, but after Denise DeMarco, I had to promote it.

(Ross is kissing Julie outside of the Central Perk...)

Chandler Bing: You're okay about all this?

Rachel Green: Oh, yeah, come on! I'm moving on. He can press her up against that window as much as he wants. For all I care, he can throw her through the damn thing.

(Chandler is doing sit-ups...)

Monica Geller: Five more and I'll flash you.

Chandler Bing: One... two... two and a half. Ok, just show me one of them.

Monica Geller: Wanna work out? I can remake you.

Chandler Bing: Uh, I would, but that might get in the way of my lying-around time.

Phoebe Buffay: You have a third nipple?

Ross Geller: Whip it out. Whip it out.

Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, yeah.

Chandler Bing: No, come on. There's nothing to see. It's just a tiny bump. It's totally useless.

Rachel Green: Oh, as opposed to your other multifunctional nipples?

Phoebe Buffay: Okay, it's very faint, but I can still sense him in the building. (screaming): Go into the light, Mr. Heckles!

(everyone jumps up startled by her)

Chandler Bing: Okay, Phoebe.

Phoebe Buffay: I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help.

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