Joey Tribbiani: I'm always gonna look back and wonder if it was because of my talent... or because of, you know, the little general.
Chandler Bing: Didn't you used to call it the little major?
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, but after Denise DeMarco, I had to promote it.
(Ross is kissing Julie outside of the Central Perk...)
Chandler Bing: You're okay about all this?
Rachel Green: Oh, yeah, come on! I'm moving on. He can press her up against that window as much as he wants. For all I care, he can throw her through the damn thing.
(Chandler is doing sit-ups...)
Monica Geller: Five more and I'll flash you.
Chandler Bing: One... two... two and a half. Ok, just show me one of them.
Monica Geller: Wanna work out? I can remake you.
Chandler Bing: Uh, I would, but that might get in the way of my lying-around time.
Phoebe Buffay: You have a third nipple?
Ross Geller: Whip it out. Whip it out.
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, yeah.
Chandler Bing: No, come on. There's nothing to see. It's just a tiny bump. It's totally useless.
Rachel Green: Oh, as opposed to your other multifunctional nipples?
Phoebe Buffay: Okay, it's very faint, but I can still sense him in the building. (screaming): Go into the light, Mr. Heckles!
(everyone jumps up startled by her)
Chandler Bing: Okay, Phoebe.
Phoebe Buffay: I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help.
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello. He'll know what it means.
Chandler Bing: You sure he's gonna be able to crack that code?
Joey Tribbiani: Go see Frankie. My family's been going to him forever. He did my first suit when I was 15. No, wait, 16. No, excuse me, heh, 15. All right, when was 1990?
Chandler Bing: Okay, you have to stop the Q-Tip when there's resistance!
Joey Tribbiani: It was amazing, and not just for her. For me too! It's like, all of a sudden I'm blind... but all my other senses are heightened. It's like I was able to appreciate it... on another level.
Chandler Bing: I didn't know you had another level.
Joey Tribbiani: I know. Neither did I!
Joey Tribbiani: Last night I couldn't do the thing that usually makes me great. So I had to do all this other stuff. And the response I got! Man, oh, man! It was like a ticker-tape parade!
Chandler Bing: I know. My room's very, very close to the parade route.
Monica Geller: His flight doesn't leave for 45 more minutes.
Chandler Bing: What about the time difference?
Monica Geller: From here to the airport?
(Ross's gift for Rachel is expensive antique pin)
Phoebe Buffay: It's so pretty! This must've cost him a fortune.
Monica Geller: I can't believe he did this.
Chandler Bing: Remember back in college when he fell in love with Carol... and bought her that riddiculously expensive crystal duck?
Rachel Green: What did you just say?
Chandler Bing: Crystal duck.
Rachel Green: No, no, no. The "love" part? Oh, my God!
Chandler Bing: Oh, no, no, no.
Joey Tribbiani: That's good. Just keep rubbing your head. That'll turn back time.