Enjoy the best quotes / moments from Sherlock’s episode ‘The Lying Detective’.
‘The Lying Detective’ is the second episode of season 4. (s04e02)
Top 35 Sherlock Quotes from 4×02
Ordered chronologically as they appear in the episode.
- Culverton Smith: Well, what is the worst thing you could do? Tell them your darkest secret. Because if you tell them and they decide they’d rather not know, you can’t take it back. You can’t unsay it. Once you’ve opened your heart, you can’t close it again.
Sherlock Holmes: Sorry, I’m still catching up with my brain. It’s terribly fast.
- Mrs Hudson: Sherlock? Are you going out?
Sherlock Holmes: I think I remember the way, it’s through there, isn’t it? (points at the door out)
- Faith Smith: How did you know my kitchen was tiny?
Sherlock Holmes: Well, look, the fading pattern on the paper, it’s not much, but it’s enough to know your kitchen window faces east. Now, kitchen noticeboards. By instinct, you place them at eye level, where there’s natural light. Now look, the sun’s only struck the bottom two thirds, but the line is straight, so that means we know the paper is facing the window. But, because the top section is unaffected, we know the sunlight can only be entering the room at a steep angle. If the sunlight was able to penetrate the room when the sun was lower in the sky, then the paper would be equally faded, top to bottom. But no. It only makes it when the sun is at its zenith, so I’m betting that you live in a narrow street on the ground floor. Now, if steeply angled sunlight manages to hit eye level on the wall opposite the window, then what do we know about the room? The room’s small.
- Mycroft Holmes: Everybody dies. It’s the one thing human beings can be relied upon to do. How can it still come as a surprise to people?
Faith Smith: Well, we just came that way.
Sherlock Holmes: I know, it’s a plan.
Faith Smith: What plan?
(people tracking Sherlock – laughing)
Mycroft Holmes: What is it? What… What now?
One of the Mycroft’s minions: Sorry, um, traced his route on the map. (route makes the phrase “fuck off”)
- Mycroft Holmes (to John): The fact that I’m his brother changes absolutely nothing. It didn’t the last time, and I assure you, it won’t with… with Sherlock.
- Faith Smith: Are we going to walk all night?
Sherlock Holmes: Possibly. It’s a long word.
Faith Smith: What is?
Sherlock Holmes: “Bollocks”.
- Sherlock Holmes: Taking your own life. Interesting expression, taking it from who? Once it’s over, it’s not you who’ll miss it. Your own death is something that happens to everybody else. Your life is not your own.
Police officer: Do you have any idea what speed you were going at?
Mrs Hudson: No, of course not! I was on the phone.
- Sherlock Holmes: Once more unto the breach, dear friends! Once more! Or close the wall up with our English dead! Set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide! Hold hard the breath and build up every spirit to his full height! On! On, you noblest English whose blood is fet from fathers of war-proof! And you, good yeoman, Whose limbs were made in England, show us here the mettle of your pasture. Which I doubt not for there is none of you here so mean and base that hath not noble lustre in your eyes! I see you standing like greyhounds in the slips, straining upon the start! The game’s afoot. (Shakespeare)
- Mrs Hudson (to John): Now, you just listen to me, for once in your stupid life! I know Mary’s dead and I know your heart is broken, but if Sherlock Holmes dies too, who will you have then? Because I’ll tell you something, John Watson, you will not have me!
- Mrs Hudson: Or just take a look at him as a doctor. I know you’d change your mind if you did.
John Watson: Yeah, look, OK, maybe, if I get a chance.
Mrs Hudson: Do you promise?
John Watson: I’ll try, if I’m in the area.
Mrs Hudson: Promise me?
John Watson: I promise.
Mrs Hudson: Thank you. (opens the trunk revealing Sherlock in it) Well, on you go. Examine him.
- Mrs Hudson: Right then, mister! Now, I need your handcuffs. I happen to know there’s a pair in the salad drawer. I’ve borrowed them before. Oh, get over yourself! You’re not my first smackhead, Sherlock Holmes!
Sherlock Holmes: Woman’s out of control! I asked for a cup of tea!
- John Watson: How did you get him in the boot?
Mrs Hudson: The boys from the cafe.
Sherlock Holmes: They dropped me! Twice!
Mrs Hudson: And do you know why they dropped you, dear? Because they know you.
- John Watson: Whose car is that?
Mrs Hudson: That’s my car.
John Watson: How can that be your car?!
Mrs Hudson: Oh, for God’s sake! I’m the widow of a drug dealer, I own property in central London, and for the last bloody time, John, I’m not your housekeeper!
- Sherlock Holmes (about Smith): That creature, that rotting thing is a living, breathing coagulation of human evil. And if the only thing I ever do in this world is drive him out of it, then my life will not have been wasted.
- John Watson: The last person you’d think of. I want you to be examined by Molly Hooper. Do you hear me? I said Molly Hooper.
Sherlock Holmes: You’re really not going to like this.
John Watson: Like what?
Molly Hooper: Um, hello. Is, er… I’m sorry, Sherlock asked me to come.
John Watson: What, two weeks ago?
Molly Hooper: Yeah, about two weeks.
Sherlock Holmes: If you’d like to know how I predict the future…
- John Watson: Er, sometimes, can I borrow your car?
Mrs Hudson: No.
John Watson: OK.
Mary Watson: He is the cleverest man in the world, but he’s not a monster.
John Watson: Yeah, he is.
Mary Watson: Yeah, OK, all right, he is. Agh! But he’s our monster.
- Sherlock Holmes: Stress can ruin every day of your life. Dying can only ruin one.
- Nurse: I was just saying, I love your blog.
Sherlock Holmes: Great, thanks.
John Watson: It’s my blog.
Sherlock Holmes: It is, he writes the blog.
Nurse: It’s yours?
John Watson: Yes.
Nurse: You write Sherlock’s blog?
John Watson: Yes.
Nurse: It’s gone downhill a bit, hasn’t it?
- Sherlock Holmes: I will share with you the facts and evidence as they were available to me, and in this very room, you will all attempt to solve the case of Blessington The Poisoner.
John Watson: I think you slightly gave away the ending.
Sherlock Holmes: There were five main suspects.
John Watson: One of them called Blessington.
Sherlock Holmes: But it’s more about how he did it.
John Watson: Poison?
Sherlock Holmes: OK.
- Culverton Smith: You don’t build a beach if you want to hide a pebble. You just find a beach. And if you want to hide a murder, if you want to hide lots and lots of murders, just find a… hospital.
- Culverton Smith: Please! Please, please, please, no violence. Thank you, Dr Watson. But I don’t think he’s a danger any more. Leave him be.
Sherlock Holmes: No, it’s OK. Let him do what he wants. He’s entitled. I killed his wife.
John Watson: Yes, you did.
- John Watson: Sherlock’s not your only brother. There’s another one, isn’t there?
Mycroft Holmes: No…
John Watson: Jesus! A secret brother. What is he, locked up in a tower, or something?
- Mrs Hudson: He’s more emotional, isn’t he? Unsolved case, shoot the wall! Boom, boom! Unmade breakfast, karate the fridge. Unanswered question… Well, what does he do with anything he can’t answer, John? Every time?
John Watson: He stabs it.
Mrs Hudson: Anything he can’t find the answer for, bang! It’s up there. I keep telling him, if he was any good as a detective, I wouldn’t need a new mantel!
Mrs Hudson: Anyone who stays here a minute longer is admitting to me personally they do not have a single spark of human decency. (to Mycroft) Get out of my house, you reptile!
- Mary Watson (from the tape): John Watson never accepts help. Not from anyone, not ever. But here’s the thing, he never refuses it. You can’t save John, because he won’t let you. He won’t allow himself to be saved. The only way to save John is to make him save you. If he thinks you need him, I swear… And off he… pop… he will be there.
- Culverton Smith: You know, in films, when you see dead people, pretending to be dead, and it’s just living people lying down? Well, that’s not what dead people look like. Dead people… look like things. I like to make people into things, then you can own them.
- Culverton Smith: I never realised confessing would be so enjoyable. I should have done it sooner.
Greg Lestrade: We’ll carry on tomorrow.
Culverton Smith: Well, we could carry on now, I’m not tired. There’s loads more.
- John Watson: You didn’t kill Mary. Mary died saving your life. It was her choice, no-one made her do it. No-one could ever make her do anything. The point is, you did not kill her.
Sherlock Holmes: In saving my life, she conferred a value on it. It is a currency I do not know how to spend.
John Watson: Who you thought I was… is the man who I want to be.
Mary Watson: Well, then… John Watson… get the hell on with it.
Sherlock Holmes: It’s OK.
John Watson: It’s not OK.
Sherlock Holmes: No… but it is what it is.
Sherlock Holmes: I’m Sherlock Holmes, I wear the damn hat!
- Eurus Holmes: I’m Eurus.
John Watson: Eurus?
Eurus Holmes: Silly name, isn’t it? Greek. Means “the east wind”. My parents loved silly names, like Eurus… or Mycroft… or Sherlock. Oh, look at him. Didn’t it ever occur to you, not even once, that Sherlock’s secret brother might just be Sherlock’s secret sister? Huh? He’s making a funny face. I think I’ll put a hole in it.
What an episode this was! I wasn’t sure what was going on the whole time, but I loved it! And the hug… The hug broke me to pieces…
What was you favorite moment in this episode? And how excited are you for the next one?