Mrs Hudson: He’s more emotional, isn’t he? Unsolved case, shoot the wall! Boom, boom! Unmade breakfast, karate the fridge. Unanswered question… Well, what does he do with anything he can’t answer, John? Every time?
John Watson: He stabs it.
Mrs Hudson: Anything he can’t find the answer for, bang! It’s up there. I keep telling him, if he was any good as a detective, I wouldn’t need a new mantel!
John Watson: Whose car is that?
Mrs Hudson: That’s my car.
John Watson: How can that be your car?!
Mrs Hudson: Oh, for God’s sake! I’m the widow of a drug dealer, I own property in central London, and for the last bloody time, John, I’m not your housekeeper!
John Watson: How did you get him in the boot?
Mrs Hudson: The boys from the cafe.
Sherlock Holmes: They dropped me! Twice!
Mrs Hudson: And do you know why they dropped you, dear? Because they know you.
Mrs Hudson: Right then, mister! Now, I need your handcuffs. I happen to know there’s a pair in the salad drawer. I’ve borrowed them before. Oh, get over yourself! You’re not my first smackhead, Sherlock Holmes!
Sherlock Holmes: Woman’s out of control! I asked for a cup of tea!
Mrs Hudson: Or just take a look at him as a doctor. I know you’d change your mind if you did.
John Watson: Yeah, look, OK, maybe, if I get a chance.
Mrs Hudson: Do you promise?
John Watson: I’ll try, if I’m in the area.
Mrs Hudson: Promise me?
John Watson: I promise.
Mrs Hudson: Thank you. (opens the trunk revealing Sherlock in it) Well, on you go. Examine him.
Mrs Hudson (to John): Now, you just listen to me, for once in your stupid life! I know Mary’s dead and I know your heart is broken, but if Sherlock Holmes dies too, who will you have then? Because I’ll tell you something, John Watson, you will not have me!