Eurus Holmes: I’m Eurus.
John Watson: Eurus?
Eurus Holmes: Silly name, isn’t it? Greek. Means “the east wind”. My parents loved silly names, like Eurus… or Mycroft… or Sherlock. Oh, look at him. Didn’t it ever occur to you, not even once, that Sherlock’s secret brother might just be Sherlock’s secret sister? Huh? He’s making a funny face. I think I’ll put a hole in it.
John Watson: You didn’t kill Mary. Mary died saving your life. It was her choice, no-one made her do it. No-one could ever make her do anything. The point is, you did not kill her.
Sherlock Holmes: In saving my life, she conferred a value on it. It is a currency I do not know how to spend.
Mrs Hudson: He’s more emotional, isn’t he? Unsolved case, shoot the wall! Boom, boom! Unmade breakfast, karate the fridge. Unanswered question… Well, what does he do with anything he can’t answer, John? Every time?
John Watson: He stabs it.
Mrs Hudson: Anything he can’t find the answer for, bang! It’s up there. I keep telling him, if he was any good as a detective, I wouldn’t need a new mantel!
John Watson: Sherlock’s not your only brother. There’s another one, isn’t there?
Mycroft Holmes: No…
John Watson: Jesus! A secret brother. What is he, locked up in a tower, or something?
Culverton Smith: Please! Please, please, please, no violence. Thank you, Dr Watson. But I don’t think he’s a danger any more. Leave him be.
Sherlock Holmes: No, it’s OK. Let him do what he wants. He’s entitled. I killed his wife.
John Watson: Yes, you did.
Sherlock Holmes: I will share with you the facts and evidence as they were available to me, and in this very room, you will all attempt to solve the case of Blessington The Poisoner.
John Watson: I think you slightly gave away the ending.
Sherlock Holmes: There were five main suspects.
John Watson: One of them called Blessington.
Sherlock Holmes: But it’s more about how he did it.
John Watson: Poison?
Sherlock Holmes: OK.
Nurse: I was just saying, I love your blog.
Sherlock Holmes: Great, thanks.
John Watson: It’s my blog.
Sherlock Holmes: It is, he writes the blog.
Nurse: It’s yours?
John Watson: Yes.
Nurse: You write Sherlock’s blog?
John Watson: Yes.
Nurse: It’s gone downhill a bit, hasn’t it?
John Watson: The last person you’d think of. I want you to be examined by Molly Hooper. Do you hear me? I said Molly Hooper.
Sherlock Holmes: You’re really not going to like this.
John Watson: Like what?
Molly Hooper: Um, hello. Is, er… I’m sorry, Sherlock asked me to come.
John Watson: What, two weeks ago?
Molly Hooper: Yeah, about two weeks.
Sherlock Holmes: If you’d like to know how I predict the future…
John Watson: Whose car is that?
Mrs Hudson: That’s my car.
John Watson: How can that be your car?!
Mrs Hudson: Oh, for God’s sake! I’m the widow of a drug dealer, I own property in central London, and for the last bloody time, John, I’m not your housekeeper!
John Watson: How did you get him in the boot?
Mrs Hudson: The boys from the cafe.
Sherlock Holmes: They dropped me! Twice!
Mrs Hudson: And do you know why they dropped you, dear? Because they know you.
Mrs Hudson: Or just take a look at him as a doctor. I know you’d change your mind if you did.
John Watson: Yeah, look, OK, maybe, if I get a chance.
Mrs Hudson: Do you promise?
John Watson: I’ll try, if I’m in the area.
Mrs Hudson: Promise me?
John Watson: I promise.
Mrs Hudson: Thank you. (opens the trunk revealing Sherlock in it) Well, on you go. Examine him.