20+ Best 'The Office' Quotes: "Not for everyone. Just anyone that works." | Page 2 of 2 | Scattered Quotes

The Office Quotes

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Michael Scott: "I regret my actions. I regret offending my coworkers. I pledge to bring my best spirit of honesty, empathy, respect, and open-mindedness... open-mindedness, that even a word? um, into the workplace. In this way, I can truly be a HERO. Signed... Daffy Duck." He's gonna lose it when he reads that.

Mr. Brown: Now, this is a simple acronym. HERO. Uh, at Diversity Today, we believe it is very easy to be a HERO. All you need are Honesty, Empathy, Respect and Open-mindedness.

Dwight Schrute: Excuse me, I'm sorry, but that's not all it takes to be a hero.

Mr. Brown: Oh, great. Well, what is a hero to you?

Dwight Schrute: A hero kills people, people that wish him harm.

Mr. Brown: OK.

Dwight Schrute: A hero is part-human and part-supernatural. A hero is born out of a childhood trauma, or out of a disaster hat must be avenged.

Mr. Brown: Ok, you're thinking of a superhero.

Dwight Schrute: We all have a hero in our heart.

Dwight Schrute: Retaliation. Tit for tit.

Jim Halpert: That is not the expression.

Dwight Schrute: Well, it should be.

Michael Scott: What is the most important thing for a company? Is it the cash flow? Is it the inventory? Nuh-uh. It's the people. The people. My proudest moment here was not when I increased profits by 17 %. Or when I cut expenses without losing a single employee. No, no, no, no, no. It was a young Guatemalan guy. First job in the country, barely spoke English. Came to me and said, "Mr. Scott, would you be the godfather of my child?" Wow. Wow. Wow... Didn't work out in the end. We had to let him go. He sucked.

Michael Scott: Hold on, hold on. Judge is in session. What is the problem here?

Dwight Schrute: He put my stuff in Jell-O again! This is the third time, and it wasn't funny the first two times either, Jim!

Jim Halpert: If I left, what would I do with... all this useless information in my head? You know? Tonnage price of manila folders? Um, Pam's favorite flavor of yogurt, which is mixed berry.

Dwight Schrute: Information is power.

Jim Halpert: What are you doing?

Dwight Schrute: Just clearing my desk. I can't concentrate.

Jim Halpert: It's not on your desk.

Dwight Schrute: It's overlapping. It's all spilling over the edge. One word, two syllables: demarcation.

(Jim builds a pencil defense wall around the line where their tables touch)

Dwight Schrute: You can't do that.

Jim Halpert: Why not?

Dwight Schrute: Safety violation. I could fall and pierce... an organ.

Jim Halpert: We'll see.

Michael Scott: Wassuuuup?

Jim Halpert: Wassuuuup? I still love that after seven years.

Jim Halpert: My job is to speak to clients, um, on the phone, about... uh, quantities and, uh, type of... copier paper. You know, whether we can supply it to them, whether they can, uh... pay for it. And, um... I'm... I'm boring myself just talking about this.