The Great Quotes

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(Everyone explain to Catherine the birth must be public, so there is no doubt about the heir...)

Dr. Vinodel: You will not even notice the spectators. The pain will be blinding.

Catherine: I feel better. Thank you, Vinodel.

Orlo: We must have witnesses.

Elizabeth: It will be delicately handled.

Dr. Vinodel: I am selling the placenta, if anyone's interested.

(There are bets going around the palace about Catherine's labor and child....)

Tatyana: I'm betting on part horse.

Arkady: I'm betting on her dying.

People in charge of the bets: Two-to-one, the Empress dies in childbirth. Four-to-one, kid is part horse. Eight-to-one, Vinodel kills him. Possibly accidentally. Ten-to-one, baby is tragically born with a v*gina. Four-to-one, a boy. Twenty-to-one, part crocodile. Vinodel loses tool inside Empress, five-to-one.

Joanna: I think you have a large appetite that is not constrained by morality.

Peter: Moderation in all things, I always say.

Joanna: You always say that?

Peter: No, first time actually.

Dr. Vinodel: Take these. (hands Joanna pills)

Joanna: What are they?

Dr. Vinodel: I can't remember but they seem to cure almost everything.

Velementov: There's an old Russian proverb. A million Russians e-each with one thread... many shirts. Let's, let's wake some f**kers up.

Catherine: Are you drunk?

Velementov: It's midnight, we're all drunk.

Orlo: Why don't we just build the whole thing?

Man: That would be impressive.

Catherine: By tomorrow afternoon? I think not.

Serf: This is Russia.

Catherine: I've never heard that saying said as a good thing.

Joanna (to Catherine): Is he still talking? You could've at least cut out his tongue if you weren't going to kill him.

Peter: Oh, she likes my f**king tongue!

Catherine: Sometimes you just take the next step and the path appears. That is what I wished to do and my team dissolved around me.

Elizabeth: As I said, difference of opinion.

Marial: It happens. Many people like this dress, but I have heard negative comments also.

Catherine: We cannot change without cost, even if it is our own.

Peter: We wait until we hear frenzied chanting and protest, and then ideally, Arkady gets a mob to break down the doors and bear me into the palace, and in a wave, we move through, gathering force, killing if we must, and finally, she will see she needs to acquiesce.

Grigor: And then you kill her.

Peter: Imprisoned until Paul is born.

Grigor: You're a good dad.

Catherine: I will be freeing the serfs. Today! And yes, I yelled that bit for effect.

Catherine: What do they want?

Velementov: I don't know. Any time one of them talks, the others start yelling. I made them put their pistols in a bucket.

Catherine: It's times like these I am so glad you are my key military strategist.

Catherine: Let her speak freely, for that is what this school is about.

Nadia: Speaking freely? The espousal of ideas?

Catherine: Yes.

Nadia: But not the acting of them. Are you not like a drunken father at a dining party telling the world how it should change but doing nothing but falling over at the end of the night in your own vomited and useless ideas?

Velcra: Oh, dear me.

Catherine: Gosh, you have a turn of phrase.

Nadia: As do you, Empress, but we're thinking that's all you have.

Catherine: Right.

(Students throw food at her)

Velcra: Girls! Go and stand over there and stare at art.

Peter (to Catherine): Would we not be happier if you just gave in to your savage longing and admitted your love for me wholeheartedly instead of clitty bitty?

Peter: Generals need to be fighting someone. You do not give them someone to fight, they'll fight you.

Grigor: That's very pithy.

Peter: Mm. I'm writing new sayings down all the time. And you thought I wasn't on my game, Grigor.

Peter: What is your topic of concern?

Catherine: The events following the party.

Peter: Hm. The fight between Bulkov and Yakov where Yakov bit Bulkov's nut sack off?

Catherine: No.

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