The Big Bang Theory Quotes

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Robert Wolcott: Dr. Cooper, if you can promise me these men share your intellect and academic rigor, yeah, I suppose they can join us.

Sheldon Cooper (to the guys): You guys might need to wait in the car.

Sheldon Cooper: I suppose it is time I passed this on to Leonard.

Penny Hofstadter: Thank you.

Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah, thanks. I-I know that's hard for you.

Sheldon Cooper: Well, it was. But you know what? Instead of being in charge, I can now be the vocal opposition, criticizing and badgering the president at every turn.

Amy Farrah Fowler: I think you'll be really good at that.

Sheldon Cooper: Me, too.

Leonard Hofstadter: I think I've made a huge mistake.

Penny Hofstadter: Me, too.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon, it's the American way, the peaceful transfer of power.

Sheldon Cooper: I don't know.

Leonard Hofstadter: Think about Ant-Man.

Sheldon Cooper: I'm always thinking about Ant-Man.

Leonard Hofstadter: Michael Douglas had the suit and then he passed it on to Paul Rudd.

Sheldon Cooper: Maybe you're right.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Really? The Ant-Man thing? That's what won you over?

Sheldon Cooper: Yes. He got the details right. That's how you use a superhero.

Amy Farrah Fowler: I vote for Leonard!

Sheldon Cooper: You... What?

Amy Farrah Fowler: I'm sorry, Sheldon. With minimal power comes minimal responsibility, and you couldn't handle it.

Sheldon Cooper: Don't you misquote Spider-Man to me.

Leonard Hofstadter: I'm running for president of the tenants association and I could really use your vote.

Tenant: Uh, who's president now?

Penny Hofstadter: Uh, Sheldon Cooper. You know, about yay tall and about yay annoying.

Tenant: So you want me to vote against Sheldon Cooper?

Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah. You just need to show up at a meeting...

Tenant: Oh, no, no. No can do. He's got a restraining order against me.

Penny Hofstadter: Really? Why?

Tenant: Uh, I locked him on the roof once. (whispers): Three times.

Leonard Hofstadter: So you're gonna spend a day with Bill Gates. I'm a little jealous.

Penny Hofstadter: Well, I'm a little nervous. You know, if I do a good job, I'm hoping they'll consider me for a PR position that's opening up.

Leonard Hofstadter: Well, if you're nervous, I-I know a lot about him. I can fill you in or maybe come along, whatever.

Penny Hofstadter: I think I'll be okay.

Leonard Hofstadter: Well, I'm-I'm just saying, what are you gonna do when he wants to talk about high-level language interpreters for microcomputers?

Penny Hofstadter: What are high-level language interpreters for microcomputers?

Leonard Hofstadter: A way of programming computers using words and commands instead of binary code.

Penny Hofstadter: Oh. That's actually kind of interesting. Tell me more.

Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, well...

Penny Hofstadter: That, I'll do that.

Leonard Hofstadter: I didn't even see it coming.

Penny Hofstadter: Yeah, well... You never do.

Leonard Hofstadter: You're my best friend. I want you to have the wedding of your dreams.

Sheldon Cooper: On Mars?

Leonard Hofstadter: Okay, I want Amy to have the wedding of her dreams.

Penny Hofstadter: You know, when my yoga instructor was pregnant, she told me there are tons of poses that put her right into labor.

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: I'll try, but I feel like bendy poses are what got me into this mess.

Penny Hofstadter: Okay, we're gonna start with some nice breathing exercises.

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Sorry. I can't think of anything except how flat your belly is.

Penny Hofstadter: Oh, thank you.

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Go put on some more clothes, you b*tch.

Sheldon Cooper: Look at my Netflix queue. There's two documentaries and the movie Friends with Benefits, which I thought was a documentary about employer health care plans.

Penny Hofstadter: What's that noise?

Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, it's my new keyboard. It looks and sounds like an old-fashioned typewriter. It makes me feel like a real novelist.

Penny Hofstadter: You poured yourself a Scotch.

Leonard Hofstadter: Apple juice.

Penny Hofstadter: Oh.

Leonard Hofstadter: But unsweetened, like Hemingway used to drink.

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,

Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started — Wait...

The Earth began to cool,

The autotrophs began to drool,

Neanderthals developed tools,

We built a wall (we built the pyramids).

Math, science, history, unraveling the mystery

That all started with the Big Bang!

(Bang!)

 

"Since the dawn of man" is really not that long

As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song.

A fraction of a second and the elements were made.

The bipeds stood up straight,

The dinosaurs all met their fate,

They tried to leave, but they were late and they all died.

(They froze their asses off.)

The oceans and Pangaea.

See? You wouldn't wanna be-ya,

Set in motion by the same Big Bang!

It all started with the Big Bang!

 

It's expanding ever outward, but one day,

It will pause and start to go the other way.

Collapsing ever inward, we won't be here, it won't be heard.

Our best and brightest figure that it'll make an even bigger bang!

Australopithecus would really have been sick of us,

Debating how we're here, they're catching deer.

(We're catching viruses.)

Religion or astronomy, Descartes or Deuteronomy,

It all started with the Big Bang.

 

Music and mythology, Einstein and astrology,

It all started with the Big Bang!

It all started with the Big Bang!

Sheldon Cooper: I'm trying this new technique where I imagine how I would feel in someone else's position.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Y-You mean empathy?

Sheldon Cooper: Oh, I thought I came up with it.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Well, regardless, I-I appreciate the effort.

Sheldon Cooper: Thank you. It's really hard.

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