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Quote from Shameless 3x05 | Mickey Milkovich: I don't know what you see in that geriatric viagroid. Ian Gallagher: He buys me stuff, orders me room service. He isn't afraid to kiss me.

Lip Gallagher: She's gotten hella clingy.

Kevin Ball: You rescued her cross-dressing sibling. You swashbuckled that sh*t, man. Seals the deal for a chick, I'm serious. Girls take that hero crap straight to the bank. She cook for you now? Fold your clothes?

Lip Gallagher: Sometimes.

Kevin Ball: She stay over more than four nights a week? Help you out with random stuff? Huh? Huh? Dude, you are ghetto married. Enjoy it. You get all the perks, no paperwork. Guys would kill for that setup.

Lip Gallagher: I kinda hate it.

Carl Gallagher: Why would a dude put his p*nis in another dude's mouth?

Frank Gallagher: Well, sometimes men discover things about themselves like they prefer male genitalia to female genitalia.

Carl Gallagher: Wait. So some guys like to lick wieners?

Frank Gallagher: Well, I'm sure at first they're attracted to each other's build. And once a connection gets made, then the wieners get licked.

Carl Gallagher: Dad?

Frank Gallagher: Yeah?

Carl Gallagher: What's this? (holds up a sex toy)

Frank Gallagher: Uh, that's a pacifier for your an*s.

Ian Gallagher: You're not trying to look at my d*ck, are you?

Jimmy/Steve: No, no, I'm not. I'm not even thinking about your d*ck... in my dad's mouth. I'm not.

Ian Gallagher: Good, then don't.

Jimmy/Steve: Yep. Not.

Carl Gallagher: Ian's d*ck was in your dad's mouth?

Jimmy/Steve: It's a figure of speech. It's like saying, "none of your business."

Jimmy/Steve: It's the whole "my dad is gay for your brother" thing. It's like on a film loop in my brain. Ian's c*ck, my dad's mouth-- in, out, in, out.

Fiona Gallagher: It's just sex. He's still the same person.

Jimmy/Steve: But is he? Because I'm rethinking everything I even thought about him. Like in high school when my friends came over, was he checking out their a$$es? Or that guy, Uncle Rick-- his racquetball partner with the feathered hair?

Carl Gallagher: We've been at this camp for a whole day without seeing the lake. I've never seen a lake before.

Hanley: Not even Lake Michigan?

Carl Gallagher: Where's that?

Ian Gallagher: You're visiting a Milkovich sister nobody's ever heard of in Milwaukee?

Lip Gallagher: Uh, correct.

Ian Gallagher: And you're gonna do what?

Lip Gallagher: We are going to evaluate her well-being and, if need be, rescue her.

Ian Gallagher: You mean kidnap?

Lip Gallagher: Provide transport to a safer haven.

Ian Gallagher: Kidnap.

Lip Gallagher: Rescue.

Ian Gallagher: Bad idea.

Lip Gallagher: Look, a kid's in trouble, we're gonna help.

Ian Gallagher: Crossing state lines to bring a minor back to the Milkovich house of horror seems more like abuse.

Quote from Shameless 3x02 | Ian Gallagher: How do you know if a guy you've been hanging out with likes you? Mandy Milkovich: You like him? Ian Gallagher: Uh-huh, but I think he hates me. Mandy Milkovich: Ask him. Ian Gallagher: Doesn't want to talk about it. Mandy Milkovich: No guy ever does. Ian Gallagher: How do I know, then? Mandy Milkovich: Does he get that look in his eye when he's with you? Ian Gallagher: What look? Mandy Milkovich: You'll know when you see it. (Later when he's with Mickey...) Mickey Milkovich: The f**k are you looking at? Ian Gallagher: Nothing.

Lip Gallagher: The ghetto girl thinks she can live the American dream, huh?

Fiona Gallagher: Maybe it's my time, Lip. (Mandy laughs) None of your business, Mandy.

Lip Gallagher: Don't you see, it doesn't work like that, sis. When you're poor, only way to make money is to steal it or scam it, like Don King or Joe Kennedy.

(Mickey is back from juvie and finds Ian with another boy...)

Mickey Milkovich: You having some sort of queer-bo sex under here?

Boy: No, no, I swear. Why are you still beating me up? (points to Ian) He was doing it too.

Mickey Milkovich: You're the one taking it in the a$$, right? You're the one I gotta kick straight. It working?

Boy: Yes, yes.

Mickey Milkovich: Good. Get the hell outta here.

(The boys runs away...)

Mickey Milkovich (to Ian): You got any f**k left in you, or you dump it all in that f*ggot's a$$?

God: That's enough!

Lucifer Morningstar: Dad.

God: Children. You know I hate it when you fight.

Lucifer Morningstar: Did Klumpsky ever meet his inspiration? Did he ever get a good look at him?

Mazikeen: No.

Lucifer Morningstar: Are you sure?

Mazikeen: Five broken ribs, a torn rotator cuff, and "It's a Small World" on repeat? Yeah, I'm sure.

Lucifer Morningstar: How am I going to find the detective without the detective?

Amenadiel: Maybe stop wasting time trying to get me to slow it and just, you know, do some good old-fashioned detective work.

Lucifer Morningstar: Detective work? Me?

Amenadiel: Are you trying to tell me that after all these years of working with Chloe... that you haven't learned anything? You can find her, Detective Morningstar.

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