Lucifer Quotes

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Marcus Pierce: I have tried everything. Even jumped into a volcano once.

Lucifer Morningstar: What, you survived molten lava?

Marcus Pierce: Yeah, it was a rough six months. Just, whatever I do, I just... regrow.

Lucifer Morningstar: Huh, like a blue-eyed, square-jawed tapeworm.

Lucifer Morningstar: You can't die, I know. But I promise you, if you stay, I will find a way to end your infinite misery, if it's the last thing I do.

Marcus Pierce: What makes you think you can do that?

Lucifer Morningstar: Well, you may have crossed paths with God, but you've certainly never made a deal with the Devil before, now, have you? What say we change that?

Marcus Pierce: What do I have to lose?

Lucifer Morningstar: Well, hopefully, your life.

Lucifer Morningstar: What is it that you desire?

Marcus Pierce: I want... to die.

Amenadiel: You know, I just don't understand it. I've never had a human illness before. But sore throat, itchy eyes, a fever... Is it a cold? The flu?

Doctor: It's chlamydia.

Amenadiel: Excuse me?

Doctor: It's a sexually transmitted disease.

Amenadiel: Right, but I can't have chlamydia. I'm an angel.

Doctor: Not to worry. A round of antibiotics and you'll be back to your, uh, angelic ways.

Linda Martin: Maybe, if you thought about how your actions affected her, she might be more receptive to how you feel.

Lucifer Morningstar: So what you're saying is I need to make it all about her for a change?

Linda Martin: Exactly.

Lucifer Morningstar: And then she can make it all about me. Oh, that is brilliant, Doctor. Yes. Very good.

Linda Martin: Should've seen that one coming.

Chloe Decker: I'm finally accepting you for what you really are, which is an egomaniacal narcissist! But... the only thing I can do... is control how I respond.

Lucifer Morningstar: By helping me?

Chloe Decker: By working without you today. Time to go home and be with the person you love most. Yourself.

Amenadiel: Father will be furious. And you will suffer His wrath.

Lucifer Morningstar: Well... then He knows where to find me.

Lucifer Morningstar: Of course it'll work, Brother. That's why you asked me, remember? Someone crafty, smart...

Amenadiel: And evil.

Lucifer Morningstar: Evil?

Amenadiel: Well, if you want to find a deplorable criminal, you just ask a... well, you know what I mean, Luci. Come on. You are the Devil, after all.

Amenadiel: I suppose it's time to torture him. So, you're up.

Lucifer Morningstar: Look, just because I am the King of Hell doesn't mean I actually do the torturing. I'm more of a delegator.

Misty: Well, they told me to do what I love, and turns out I love sex.

Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, so you're a rebel.

Misty: I guess so. And if you really want to rebel, move to L.A., right? All I know is that I have never been happier, freer.

Amenadiel: There must be hundreds of p*rn stars in Hell.

Lucifer Morningstar: Sadly, no, on account of all the good work they do here on Earth, I assume.

Lucifer Morningstar: Obviously, "R" is for reverse, not "really fast."

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