Tyrion Lannister: I remember reading an old sailor's proverb... "Piss on wildfire and your cock burns off."
Alchemist Hallyne: Oh, I have not conducted this experiment. It could well be true.
Tywin Lannister: And what do they say of Robb Stark in the North?
Arya Stark: They call him the young wolf. They say he rides into battle on the back of a giant Direwolf. They say he can turn into a wolf himself when he wants. They say he can't be killed.
Tywin Lannister: And do you believe them?
Arya Stark: No, My Lord. Anyone can be killed.
Citizen of King's Landing: A dancing king, prancing down his bloodstained halls to the tune of a twisted demon monkey.
Tyrion Lannister: You have to admire his imagination.
Bronn: He's talking about you.
Tyrion Lannister: What? Demon monkey?
Daenerys Targaryen: Thirteen! When my dragons are grown, we will take back what was stolen from me and destroy those who have wronged me. We will lay waste to armies and burn cities to the ground. Turn us away and we will burn you first.
Arya Stark: Joffrey. Cersei. Ilyn Payne. The Hound. Joffrey. Cersei. Ilyn Payne. The Hound. Joffrey. Cersei. Ilyn Payne. The Hound.
Gendry: What kind of fire melts stone?
Arya Stark: Dragon fire.
Hot Pie: What's that smell?
Arya Stark: Dead people.
Bronn: The little king's backed up. Clogged from balls to brains.
Tyrion Lannister: You think dipping his wick will cure what ails him?
Bronn: There's no cure for being a cunt. But the boy's at that age. And he's got nothing to do all day but pick wings off flies. Couldn't hurt to get some of the poison out.
Tyrion Lannister: Tell me the truth. Do you want an end to this engagement?
Sansa Stark: I am loyal to King Joffrey, my one true love.
Tyrion Lannister: Lady Stark, you may survive us yet.
Lannister Soldier: Loras Tyrell. He's prettier than the queen.
Other Lannister Soldier: I don't care about pretty. He's better with a sword than any of them.
Lannister Soldier: How good could he be? He's been stabbing Renly Baratheon for years, and Renly ain't dead.
Varys: Three great men sit in a room. A king, a priest and a rich man. Between them stands a common Sellsword. Each great man bids the Sellsword kill the other two. Who lives, who dies?
Tyrion Lannister: Depends on the Sellsword.
Varys: Does it? He has neither crown nor gold nor favor with the Gods.
Tyrion Lannister: He has a sword, the power of life and death.
Varys: But if it's swordsmen who rule, why do we pretend Kings hold all the power? When Ned Stark lost his head, who was truly responsible? Joffrey? The executioner? Or something else?
Tyrion Lannister: I've decided I don't like riddles.
Varys: Power resides where men believe it resides. It's a trick, a shadow on the wall. And a very small man can cast a very large shadow.
Loras Tyrell: If Robb Stark wants a pact with us, he should come himself, not hide behind his mother's skirts.
Catelyn Stark: My son is fighting a war, not playing at one.
Cersei Lannister: You want to be Hand of the King? You want to rule? This is what ruling is... lying on a bed of weeds, ripping them out by the root, one by one, before they strangle you in your sleep.
Tyrion Lannister: I'm no king, but I think there's more to ruling than that.
Tyrion Lannister: Listen to me, Queen Regent. You're losing the people. Do you hear me?
Cersei Lannister: The people. You think I care?
Tyrion Lannister: You might find it difficult to rule over millions who want you dead. Half the city will starve when winter comes. The other half will plot to overthrow you. And your gold-plated thugs just gave them their rallying cry... "The Queen slaughters babies." You don't even have the decency to deny it... It wasn't you who gave the order, was it? Joffrey didn't even tell you. Did he tell you? I imagine that would be even worse.