100+ Best 'Friends' Quotes from the TV Series | Page 9 of 12

Quote from Friends 1x05 | (After yet another break-up with Janice...) Rachel Green: Where's Chandler? Phoebe Buffay: He needed some time to grieve. Chandler Bing (screaming outside): I'm free! I'm free! Phoebe Buffay: That ought to do it.

Chandler Bing: How do you do that?

Phoebe Buffay: It's like a gift.

Chandler Bing: We should always always break up together.

Phoebe Buffay: I'd like that!

Rachel Green: Am I being a total laundry spaz? Am I supposed to use one machine for shirts and another for pants?

Ross Geller: Have you never done this before?

Rachel Green: Well, not myself. But I know other people that have. Okay. You caught me. I'm a laundry virgin.

Ross Geller: Don't worry. I'll use the gentle cycle.

Quote from Friends 1x04 | Monica Geller: Phoebe? Do you have a plan? Phoebe Buffay: I don't even have a "pla."

(Rachel got her first paycheck...)

Rachel Green: Isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it. I steamed milk. And it was totally... (looks at the check) not worth it. What's FICA? Why's he getting all my money?

(Rachel got her first paycheck...)

Phoebe Buffay: I remember when I got my first paycheck. There was a cave-in in a mine, and eight people were killed.

Monica Geller: You worked in a mine?

Phoebe Buffay: No, I worked at a Dairy Queen. Why?

Ross Geller: Today's the day Carol and I first... consummated our... physical relationship. Sex.

Joey Tribbiani: You told your sister that?

Ross Geller: Believe me, I told everyone. I better pass on the game. I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.

Joey Tribbiani: The hell with hockey! Let's all do that!

Monica Geller: Hey, Joey. What would you do if you were omnipotent?

Joey Tribbiani: Probably kill myself.

Monica Geller: Excuse me?

Joey Tribbiani: Hey, If little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live.

Ross Geller: Joey, om- nipotent.

Joey Tribbiani: You are? Ross, I'm sorry. I had no idea. I thought it was a theoretical question.

Rachel Green (on the phone with Mindy): I hope you two are very happy. I really do. And, Min, you know, if everything works out and you guys end up getting married and having kids, and everything... I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose! (hangs up) Okay, I know that was a cheap shot, but I feel so much better now!

(Ross is showing the group video from ultrasound...)

Ross Geller: Well, isn't that amazing?

Joey Tribbiani: What are we supposed to be seeing here?

Chandler Bing: I don't know, but I think it's about to attack the Enterprise.

Phoebe Buffay: You know, if you tilt your head to the left and relax your eyes... it kind of looks like an old potato.

Ross Geller: Then don't do that, all right?

Quote from Friends 1x02 | (Chandler, Monica, Phoebe and Joey are leaving...) Rachel Green (to Joey): Hit the lights, please. (Ross comes out of the restroom to a dark room) Ross Geller: How long was I in there? Rachel Green: I'm just cleaning up. Ross Geller: Oh, you need any help? Rachel Green: Okay, sure. Thanks.

Monica Geller: Chandler, you're an only child, right? You don't have any of this.

Chandler Bing: No, although I did have an imaginary friend who... my parents actually preferred.

Joey Tribbiani: Folks are really that bad?

Ross Geller: Well, you know, these people are pros. They know what they're doing. They take their time. They get the job done.

Monica Geller: They say that you can't change your parents. Boy, if you could, I'd want yours (points at Ross).

Monica Geller: So, Ross, what's going on with you? Any stories? No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks?

Ross Geller: Ok, Ok... Look, I realize you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me. And so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child. And she and Susan are going to raise the baby.

Judy Geller (to Monica): And you knew about this?

Ross Geller: Hi.

Monica Geller: That is not a happy "hi."

Ross Geller: Carol's pregnant.

Monica Geller: Wh-What? What? What?

Ross Geller: Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now.

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