100+ Best 'Friends' Quotes from the TV Series | Page 6 of 12

Chandler Bing (on the phone with his boss): Hey, Mr. Costilick. How's life on the 15th floor? Yeah, I miss you too. It's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home. That's very generous. But this isn't about the money. I need something more than a job. I need something I really care ab... That's on top of the year-end bonus?

Ross and Joey: Dream! Your dream!

Chandler Bing: Look, Al, I'm not playing hardball here, okay? This is not a negotiation. This is a rejection! Stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! I'll see you Monday!

Monica Geller: It's just this night has to go just perfect, you know? Wendy's more of a professional waitress.

Rachel Green: And I'm maintaining my amateur status so I can waitress in the Olympics.

Rachel Green: Monica, what are you gonna make?

Monica Geller: I don't know. I don't know. It's just gotta be so great.

Phoebe Buffay: I know what you can make! I know! You should make that thing with the stuff. You know that thing... with the stuff? Okay, I don't know.

Carol Willick: You'll find someone. The right woman is just waiting for you.

Ross Geller: It's easy for you to say. You found one already.

Carol Willick: All you need is a woman who likes men, and you'll be set. (Ross looks at beautiful woman walking by...) Not her.

Chandler Bing: How can I dump this woman on Valentine's Day?

Joey Tribbiani: I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's.

Chandler Bing: In my next life, I'm coming back as a toilet brush.

Joey Tribbiani: We might be leaving now.

Chandler Bing: Tell me it's you and me "we."

Joey Tribbiani: She wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is! But I definitely want to be a part of it!

Joey Tribbiani: It's just... you know, they're parents. After a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better... You gotta let them make their own mistakes.

Rachel Green: And think, in a couple of years, we'll turn into them.

Chandler Bing: Oh, please. If I turn into my parents, I'll be an alcoholic blond chasing after twenty-year-old boys... or I'll end up like my mom!

Phoebe Buffay: It's nothing. I'm fine. It's just... It's my friends. They have a liking problem with you... in that they don't.

Roger: They don't?

Phoebe Buffay: But they don't see all the wonderfulness that I see. They don't see all the good and sweet stuff. They think you're a little...

Roger: What?

Phoebe Buffay: Intense and creepy.

Roger: Oh.

Phoebe Buffay: But I don't. Me, Phoebe.

Roger: I'm not at all surprised about that.

Phoebe Buffay: You do? That's why you're so great.

Roger: It's quite typical behavior... when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. You know, this kind of codependent, emotionally stunted... sitting in your stupid coffeehouse, with your stupid big cups... which might as well have nipples on them. And you're all like, "Oh, define me! Define me! Love me! I need love!"

Gloria Tribbiani: Why'd you fill your father's head with garbage... about making things right? Things were fine this way! For God's sake, Joey! Really.

Joey Tribbiani: Hold on. You knew?

Gloria Tribbiani: Of course I knew. What do you think? Your father is no James Bond. You should've heard his stories. "I'm sleeping over at my accountant's." What is that? Please!

Joey Tribbiani: So then, how could you?

Gloria Tribbiani: Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling. Nothing made him happy. Not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle. Now he's happy. I mean, it's nice. He has a hobby.

Joey Tribbiani: Break up with Ronni.

Joey Tribbiani Sr.: I can't!

Joey Tribbiani: Then come clean with Ma! This is not right!

Joey Tribbiani Sr.: But, this is...

Joey Tribbiani: I don't wanna hear it! Now go to my room!

Joey Tribbiani: If you go to a hotel, you'll be doing stuff. I want you here so I can keep an eye on you.

Joey Tribbiani Sr.: You're gonna keep an eye on us?

Joey Tribbiani: Right. As long as you are under my roof... you're gonna live by my rules. That means no sleeping with your girlfriend.

Ronni: Most people, when their pets pass on... want them like they're sleeping. Occasionally you get a person who wants them in a pose. Like chasing their tail. Or jumping to catch a Frisbee.

Chandler Bing: Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys.

Ross Geller: We're all adults here. There's only one way to resolve this. Since you saw her boobies you have to show her your pee-pee.

Chandler Bing: You know, I don't see that happening.

Rachel Green: Come on. He's right. Tit for tat.

Chandler Bing: Well, I'm not showing you my tat!

Roger: You're so funny! He's really funny. I wouldn't wanna be there when the laughter stops.

Chandler Bing: Whoa, back up there, sparky. What did you mean by that?

Roger: Just seems that maybe you have intimacy issues... that you use your humor to keep people at a distance. I mean, I just met you. I don't know you from Adam. Only child, right? Parents divorced before you hit puberty.

Chandler Bing: How did you know that?

Roger: It's textbook.

(Phoebe to her new boyfriend Roger whom she just introduced to the group)

Phoebe Buffay: Now go away so we can talk about you.

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