Chandler Bing: Please tell me you know which one is our baby.
Joey Tribbiani: Well, that one has ducks on his T-shirt and this one has clowns. And Ben was definitely wearing ducks. Or clowns. Oh, oh wait! That one's Ben! Remember he had that cute little mole by his mouth!
Chandler Bing: Yeah? Hey, Ben! Remember us? Okay, the mole came off.
Chandler Bing (on the phone): I'm doing research for a book and I was wondering what somebody might do if they left a baby on a city bus. Yes, I do realize that would be very stupid character.
Joey Tribbiani: Hi, here's the deal: We lost a car seat on a bus today. It's white plastic with a handle and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. He wants to talk to you again.
Chandler Bing: So I have a flaw. (his flaw = smoking) Big deal. Like Joey’s constant knuckle-cracking isn’t annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word. And Monica, with that snort when she laughs. I mean, what the hell is that thing? I accept all those flaws. Why can’t you accept me for this?
Phoebe Buffay: “Dear Ms. Buffay: Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account $500. We’re sorry for the inconvenience… and hope you’ll accept this football phone… as our free gift.” Do you believe this? Now I have $1000 and a football phone.
Rachel Green: What bank is this?