60+ Best 'Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.' Quotes

Quote from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 1x13 | (Coulson and Simmons are pretending to be father and daughter...) Jemma Simmons (to Coulson): All Mum ever wanted was your love. To be with you. On our two-story Victorian home in the Cotswolds. But could you even give her a moment? What with your banking job requiring you to travel to the States from Tuesday to Saturday every other week? No! The Watcher Informant (to Simmons): I'm terribly sorry about your loss, dear. (to Coulson): As for you. Now is your chance to do better. Why don't you see that you take it! Jemma Simmons: Thank you, sir.

Melinda May: You told her, didn't you?

Phil Coulson: I had to.

Melinda May: Must have destroyed her to hear all that.

Phil Coulson: That's the thing about Skye. What I told her shattered her world. Her lifelong search led to stories of murder, and now it's too difficult to continue. Her search is over. Her story ends here. But you know what she said?

Melinda May: Tell me.

Phil Coulson: She said, no. Her story started here. Her whole life, she thought she wasn't wanted, that she didn't belong. That every family that took her in didn't want her to stay. Didn't care. But all that time, it was S.H.I.E.L.D. protecting her, looking after her. That's what she took away from the story. Not the family she'll never have, but the one she's always had. Here I am, telling her something that could destroy her faith in humanity. And somehow, she manages to repair a little piece of mine. The world is full of evil and lies and pain and death, and you can't hide from it. You can only face it. The question is, "When you do, how do you respond? Who do you become?"

Richard Lumley (about Skye): Bit of advice. Stop digging. And stay the hell away from that girl. 'Cause wherever she goes, death follows.

Quote from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 1x10 | Michael Peterson: Your gun. It somehow froze me. Right at the moment I was about to explode. Helped my body absorb the serum, stabilize. Your weapon saved my life. All that, and it didn't even leave a scar, so... Leo Fitz: Well, I should think not. Jemma Simmons: Well... Yeah. We couldn't have that, could we? It would be a shame, especially when you're so well-formed and symmetrical in the... (to Fitz): When did you stop talking? Leo Fitz: About three embarrassing sentences ago.

Quote from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 1x09 | (Fitz enters the room with shaving cream on his hand and face...) Leo Fitz: It's not funny. I was sleeping peacefully. Very clever, Simmons. Jemma Simmons: I didn't do it. Leo Fitz: Well, Ward. I don't appreciate... Grant Ward: Don't look at me! Leo Fitz: Okay, well, Skye. Skye: No. Leo Fitz: Well, who then? Look, the bunks should be off limits, okay? Don't laugh! Because I know it was one of you. (May is listening to the conversation from the cockpit, smiling...)

Leo Fitz: You know, that's the one drawback of graduating three years early. We never got to pull any freshman pranks on anyone else.

Jemma Simmons: Mm. Fitz. Skye never went to the Academy. She's a freshman.

Leo Fitz: A wide-eyed little freshman.

Jemma Simmons: And being pranked is an integral part of becoming a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.

Leo Fitz: Well, mandatory, really.

Jemma Simmons: Why not give her the full S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy experience?

Leo Fitz: It would be unjust to deny her such a thing.

Phil Coulson: This is a delicate situation. We don't know what kind of danger this woman poses, so I'll make initial contact with Agents Ward and May.

Skye: It's a delicate situation, so you're bringing along Warm and Fuzzy?

Phil Coulson: You know, it'd be nice if, for once, Thor and his people sent down the god of cleaning-up-after-yourself. He'd probably have a magic broom for this kind of thing.

Skye: I just wish they'd left their alien ship behind.

Melinda May: So we can clean that up, too?

Skye (to May): So we could go inside. Take a peek under the hood, maybe take it for a spin. Come on, you're telling me piloting an alien ship isn't on your bucket list?

Phil Coulson: I can't think of a single time when anything alien in human hands ended well.

Skye: Wouldn't mind getting my human hands on Thor. He's so dreamy.

Phil Coulson: Sure, he's handsome, but...

Melinda May: No. He's dreamy.

Skye: I wanted to know more about Ward and Fitz's mission. Simmons is seriously starting to unravel without Fitz.

Phil Coulson: I know it's hard to hear, but you don't have the clearance.

Skye: But I have eyes. I saw six squads in full tactical gear, three crates of RPGs, and a full crew of analysts heading into operations. Are you really telling me that has nothing to do with Ward and Fitz's mission? If I'm right, give me a signal by not saying anything.

Phil Coulson: Trust the system.

(Back at the plane...)

Phil Coulson (to May): You know, I like this plane. I like the way we do things here. Everyone's on the same page, no red tape. So far, it's working for us. Most of us. And maybe I'm getting soft, but I don't like keeping things from our team. If you knew... No, you're right. Level 8. But... I know. Trust the system. May? Thanks.

(Simmons is isolated in a room, Fitz runs inside...)

Jemma Simmons: No! Uh... You can't be in here!

Leo Fitz: Too late. It's done. Just try and do your best to keep your hands off me, yeah?

Jemma Simmons: Fitz, I don't know what you think you're doing, but...

Leo Fitz: I'm doing what we always do. We're gonna fix this. Together.

Phil Coulson: What's Fitz doing out there?

Jemma Simmons: He detected a strange energy coming off the body.

Phil Coulson: He's afraid of it, isn't he?

Leo Fitz: It's the smell!

Jemma Simmons: There's no shame in it, Fitz. It's perfectly natural to be afraid.

Leo Fitz: No, the only thing I'm afraid of is putrid, decaying flesh corrupting my pristine workspace. Do you remember the last time you brought a dead thing into the lab?

Jemma Simmons: Oh, not the stupid cat again!

Leo Fitz: The cat!

Jemma Simmons: And it's our lab, Fitz, not your lab!

Leo Fitz: Tell him about the cat. You left his liver next to my lunch!

Quote from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 1x06 | Phil Coulson: Put it up on the server. I want May to have a look when she's done with her interrogation. (In the interrogation room...) Melinda May: Have a cookie.

Grant Ward: There's scorch marks all over that tree. Lucky the whole forest didn't burn down.

Skye: I don't get it. Seems to me like this electroshock thingy was some freak lightning strike. I mean, why call us? What's the big... (chuckls when she sees a dead man floating in the air) Oh. Never mind.

Jemma Simmons: So sad a man died this way. And yet, so amazing.

Quote from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 1x06 | (The team immitates Ward by making a deep voice...) Leo Fitz: "I'm Agent Grant Ward, and I can shoot the legs off a flea from 500 yards, as long as it's not windy." Jemma Simmons: "I'm Agent Grant Ward, and I could rupture your spleen with my left pinky. Blindfolded." Skye (laughing): That is dead on. (Later...) Jemma Simmons: Well, I suppose now's as good a time as any to tell you that I may have misled you earlier. You see, when I gave you back the Night-Night pistol, I lied. It's still an ounce off. Grant Ward: I know. Jemma Simmons: You do? Grant Ward: Of course. After all, (speaks in deep voice): "I'm Agent Grant Ward. I just jumped out of a plane without a parachute on and saved your life!" Jemma Simmons: Actually, that's not quite it. It's a bit more nasally than that.

Jemma Simmons: Working up a good sweat there, sir?

Phil Coulson: I don't sweat. I glisten.

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