60+ Best 'Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.' Quotes: "Not all heroes are super." | Page 4 of 5

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Quotes

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Grant Ward: I got to give Coulson credit. I would have never pegged an ex-Rising Tide hacker as a good fit, but... you're picking things up pretty fast.

Skye: Did you just give me a compliment?

Grant Ward: I... no, I made a comment.

Skye: A kind one. Did it physically hurt to do that? Do you need an ice pack? (Ward smiles) Wow. A compliment and a smile.

Grant Ward: Comment.

Skye: I don't want to ruin the moment, but I'm gonna have to respond with... G4. Say it, Ward. Say it.

Grant Ward: You sank my battleship.

Skye: Yes!

Akela Amador: What happened to Agent Coulson? He's different.

Melinda May: Well, he's loosened up a bit. He nearly died before the Battle of New York.

Akela Amador: But what did they do to him?

Melinda May: I'm sorry?

Akela Amador: Never mind.

Phil Coulson: How are we seeing this? Where's the camera?

Melinda May: It's her eye. She's the camera.

Leo Fitz: It switches to backscatter when she closes her eyes.

Skye (to Ward): You're a robot, can you do that?

Grant Ward: Agent Coulson and I are trying to find a dangerous criminal. If there is nothing else pressing...

Skye: One last thing. Fitz wants to know if you packed any snacks.

Leo Fitz: Yeah, I'm feeling a bit peckish.

Skye: Hello? He hung up.

Phil Coulson: You seen Skye?

Grant Ward: Not since weapons training.

Phil Coulson: She stop saying "bang" when she pulls the trigger?

Grant Ward: Mostly. Now if she can just learn the difference between the safety release and the magazine release, we'll be making real progress.

Melinda May: I've already seen far more combat than I bargained for. This two-man extraction team? That's exactly the kind of action I was hoping to avoid.

Phil Coulson: That's why you're not on it.

Melinda May: Specialist work is different from field work, believe me. When was the last time you...

Phil Coulson: Hall's one of ours and he's in trouble. I need two men to get him out. Ward makes one. So that's why I'm going in. You forget, I saw plenty of action with the Avengers.

(Coulson leaves the room...)

Melinda May: And you died.

Nick Fury: Really? Really, Coulson? Six days? It only took you six days to take a completely renovated piece of state-of-the-an machinery, and turn it into scrap?

Phil Coulson: My team acted with my authority.

Nick Fury: Don't talk to me about authority. Do you know how much this plane cost? It's got a bar. A really nice one. Talking to me about authority. You know, I have the authority to downgrade your ass to a Winnebago.

Phil Coulson: I'm aware of that, sir.

Nick Fury: Well, I want it fixed just like you found it. So don't have Fitz-Simmons going making modifications like a damn fish tank.

Phil Coulson: Yes, sir.

(After Fury leaves...)

Phil Coulson: Yeah, we're gonna have to kill the fish tank.

Camilla Reyes: I forgot you're such a sentimentalist, Phillip. Romanticizing history.

Phil Coulson: Yeah, most of it's glued down. There was an elegance to things back then.

Camilla Reyes: There we agree.

Phil Coulson: With everything around us changing so quickly, it doesn't hurt to have a few touchstones to the past. Reminds me of what's important.

Phil Coulson: We still need to iron out the kinks. But, Ward, you can speak six languages. Simmons, you have two PhDs in fields I can't pronounce, and, Fitz, you are a rocket scientist. So work it out. (leaves the room)

Skye: I'm good at stuff, too!

Skye: And an 084 is?

Phil Coulson: An object of unknown origin. Kind of like you. Team goes in, determines if it's useful or if it poses a threat. The last one turned out to be pretty interesting.

Skye: And what was the last one?

Phil Coulson: A hammer.

Grant Ward: Skye? The girl's not qualified to be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.

Phil Coulson: Agreed. That's why I've invited her on as a consultant. S.H.l.E.L.D. does it all the time. Technically, Stark's a consultant.

Grant Ward: And technically, Skye's a member of the Rising Tide. She hacked our RSA implementation.

Phil Coulson: Twice. From a laptop. Imagine what she'll do with our resources.

(Coulson injects Ward with a truth drug...)

Grant Ward: Hey! What the hell?!

Phil Coulson: I'm sorry. Did that hurt?

Grant Ward: No. But you've lost your mind. You should never do that to a member of your team. And, yes, it did hurt a little bit. But I always try and mask my pain in front of beautiful women 'cause I think it makes me seem more masculine. My god, this stuff works fast.

Grant Ward: She's a groupie. All this hacking into S.H.I.E.L.D., tracking powers... She might as well be one of those sweaty cosplay girls crowding around Stark tower.

Skye: What?! I would... It was one time.

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