20+ Best 'Funny' Quotes | Page 2 of 3 | Scattered Quotes

Funny Quotes

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What's another word for Thesaurus?

- Steven Wright

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Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.

- Anthony Burgess

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My wife and I divided up the important talks we'll have with our daughters. She'll handle puberty, sex, and college. I'll handle zombies.

- James Breakwell

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Wife: You're still out of breath?

Me: I ran hard.

Wife: That was yesterday.

Me: Just a few more minutes.

- James Breakwell

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My 2-year-old is walking around calling her lightsaber a “life saver.” We have a dangerous misunderstanding on our hands.

- James Breakwell

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