Sheldon Cooper: Dad, do you believe that fossils are millions of years old?
George Cooper Sr.: I guess. Why?
Sheldon Cooper: Well, Mom believes the world was only created 6,000 years ago.
George Cooper Sr.: Yeah. So?
Sheldon Cooper: Are these differences a sticking point in your marriage?
George Cooper Sr.: Not at all.
Sheldon Cooper: Why?
George Cooper Sr.: Simple. We never talk about it.
Sheldon Cooper: So you just avoid discussing topics you don't agree on?
George Cooper Sr.: At all costs.
Sheldon Cooper: Hearing that further convinces me I'll never get married.
George Cooper Sr.: Never say never.
Sheldon Cooper: Why not? You just said it twice.
Sheldon Cooper (narration about Veronica): My mother's fears that no one would be saved that Halloween night were proven incorrect. Mr. Lundy's scene about lust made a deep impact on my brother's date. She asked to be saved by Jesus. And as it turns out, she was. She went on to live a life devoted to God, feeding the poor, even helping her sister start a literacy program for female prisoners. My brother, on the other hand, became a devout atheist after that night.
Sheldon Cooper: Actually, fear has been a recruiting tactic used by organized religion for centuries. When you add guilt to keep people in line, it's an extremely efficient form of crowd control.
Mary Cooper: Our religion is based on love, Sheldon, not fear.
Sheldon Cooper: So what happens when people don't follow the rules?
Mary Cooper: They burn in hell... Because God loves 'em.
Sheldon Cooper (narration): While my sister and I are twins, we've always been different. By the age of two, I was reading books. Missy was content to eat them. By five, I had a healthy appreciation for a well-organized work space. My sister, less so. Which is not to say she doesn't have qualities I admire. (scene of Missy killing a spider) The bond between twins is an incredibly close one, which is why I moved 1,500 miles to California the first chance I got.
Amy Farrah Fowler: You guys will never believe what just happened.
Rajesh Koothrappali: Yeah, we heard. You did it.
Sheldon Cooper: We did do it.
Amy Farrah Fowler: And we didn't even know we did it!
Howard Wolowitz: Wait, what?
Sheldon Cooper: Two physicists in Chicago had to tell us.
Leonard Hofstadter: Wait, what?
Sheldon Cooper: Their experiment on kaon decay supported our predictions on the higher order corrections pertaining to super-asymmetry.
Penny Hofstadter: Wait, what?
Amy Farrah Fowler: A team of physicists confirmed super-asymmetry. Our paper was right. We did it.
Sheldon Cooper: We did it?
Amy Farrah Fowler: We did it.
Sheldon Cooper: We did it.
Amy and Sheldon (screaming): We did it! We did it! We did it!
(Rest of the gang can hear them outside of the appartment)
Penny Hofstadter: Aw, remember when they only did it on her birthday?
Amy Farrah Fowler: Did you even read the article? Because I talk about you continuously.
Sheldon Cooper: I know, and it just made you sound modest and charming.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Why can't you just be proud of me?
Sheldon Cooper: I am proud of you.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Really? Because you sound jealous.
Sheldon Cooper: Well, I'm that, too. I've seen Inside Out. I know I can feel two things at once. (Bernadette shoots them both with a paintball gun...) Well, now I feel three things.
Amy Farrah Fowler: It is the emergency pep talk you made when you were a kid.
Sheldon Cooper: Oh, that. I was saving it for the day they stop making Star Wars movies. I don't think that's ever gonna happen.
Amy Farrah Fowler: How long has it been since you've seen it?
Sheldon Cooper: Not since the day I recorded it. No, I had just watched Back to the Future II, where Marty McFly gets a glimpse of his future self and that got me thinking, the day may come where I needed my help, like they did with that movie. That was not great.
(Penny explains to others what not to say infront of Amy and Sheldon to not make them upset...)
Penny Hofstadter: We should just try and avoid anything that makes them think of their project or science or Nobel Prizes or successes or failures.
(Amy and Sheldon walk in...)
Amy Farrah Fowler: What are you guys doing?
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Nothing.
Sheldon Cooper: Nothing? Like what my career has come to? Thanks a lot.
(Sheldon storms out of the room)
Howard Wolowitz: Nice going.