Rachel Green: I should really get back to work.
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered.
Rachel Green: Oh. The hair comes out and the gloves come off.
(Phoebe’s flaw = chewing her hair)
Ross Geller: A thumb? (in her soda can)
All five: Ew.
Phoebe Buffay: I know, I know. I opened it up and there it was… just floating in there, like this tiny little hitchhiker.
Chandler Bing: Maybe it’s a contest, you know’? Like “Collect all five.”
Phoebe Buffay: Hey, Lizzy.
Lizzy (homeless woman): Hey, Weird Girl.
Phoebe Buffay: I brought you alphabet soup.
Lizzy: Did you pick out the vowels?
Phoebe Buffay: Yes, but I left in the Y’s. Because, you know, “Sometimes Y.”
Phoebe Buffay: “Dear Ms. Buffay: Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account $500. We’re sorry for the inconvenience… and hope you’ll accept this football phone… as our free gift.” Do you believe this? Now I have $1000 and a football phone.
Rachel Green: What bank is this?
Phoebe Buffay: There’s 500 extra dollars in my account!
Chandler Bing: Oh, Satan’s minions at work again.