Peter Parker: You look really pretty.
Michelle Jones: And therefore I have value?
Peter Parker: No, no... That's not what I...
Michelle Jones: I'm messing with you. (Peter smiles nervously) You look pretty too.
Happy Hogan: Hey, sorry I'm late. (to May): You look nice.
May Parker: Thank you, you too.
Happy Hogan: Thank you. New dress?
May Parker: Yes, it is. How did you know?
(Happy is speechless, Peter confused...)
Peter Parker: What just happened?
Peter Parker: I got you. I got you. I'm sorry I can't remember anybody's names. (Spider-man catching falling Mantis, Drax and Quill)
Peter Quill: I like your plan, except it sucks, so let me do the plan, and that way, it might be really good.
Drax: Tell him about the dance-off to save the Universe.
Tony Stark: What dance-off?
Peter Quill: It's not a, it's not a...
Peter Parker: Like in Footloose? The movie?
Peter Quill: Exactly like Footloose! Is it still the greatest movie in history?
Peter Parker: It never was.
Peter Parker (to Tony and Strange): Let me just say, if aliens wind up implanting eggs in my chest or something, and I eat one of you, I'm sorry.
Tony Stark: I don't want another single, pop-culture reference outta you for the rest of the trip. Understand?
Peter Parker: Ned, hey. I need you to cause a distraction.
Ned Leeds: Holy shit! We're all gonna die! There's a spaceship!
The Watcher Informant (as bus driver): What's the matter with you kids? You never seen a spaceship before?
Tony Stark: I was wrong about you. I think, with a little more mentoring... you could be a real asset to the team. Yeah. Anyway... there's about 50 reporters behind that door. Real ones, not bloggers. When you're ready... why don't you try that on? (new suit) And I'll introduce the world to the newest official member of the Avengers: Spider-Man. After the press conference, Happy will show you to your room... your new quarters.
Peter Parker: Thank you, Mr. Stark. But I'm good.
Tony Stark: You're good? Good...? How are you good?
Peter Parker: Well, I mean, I'd rather just stay on the ground for a little while. Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. Somebody's got to look out for the little guy, right?
Adrian Toomes: Peter... you're young. You don't understand how the world works.
Peter Parker: But I understand that selling weapons to criminals is wrong.
Adrian Toomes: How do you think your buddy Stark paid for that tower? Or any of his little toys? Those people, Pete, those people up there... the rich and the powerful, they do whatever they want. Guys like us... like you and me... they don't care about us. We build their roads, and we fight all their wars... and everything, but they don't care about us. We have to pick up after them. We have to eat their table scraps. That's how it is.