Howard Wolowitz: Now I'm having a son? I'll have to teach him how to play sports, and-and watch sports and-and-and-and-and-and...
Rajesh Koothrappali: He just ran out of man things. He's in trouble.
Leonard Hofstadter: It's okay. We're all here to help.
Sheldon Cooper: Yes. And this baby will have plenty of manly role models. Now, I'm certain that whatever Bernadette can't teach him, Penny can.
Leonard Hofstadter: Uh, she can pee into a bottle.
Penny Hofstadter: Mm-hmm. Anything with a neck wider than a nickel.
Sheldon Cooper: You're proposing that the self is an illusion, and that we actually have multiple centers of consciousness that are communicating with one another?
Penny Hofstadter: In laymen's terms, yeah.
Sheldon Cooper: Huh. Interesting. So you don't believe there's a Cartesian self that underlies the flux of experience?
Penny Hofstadter: Maybe in my twenties, not anymore.
Sheldon Cooper: It's not just a date... it's a textbook optimization problem. There is a perfect date... just like there's a perfect room temperature and a perfect dessert.
Penny Hofstadter: Mm. There's no perfect dessert.
Sheldon Cooper: Yellow cake in the shape of a dinosaur with chocolate frosting, a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side, not touching. You'll see. You'll have it at our wedding.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: I'm obviously pregnant.
Sheldon Cooper: Well, you never said it to my face. And the last time I assumed a woman was pregnant, it did not go over well.
Penny Hofstadter: Yeah, I'm still mad at you.
Sheldon Cooper: You were drinking water instead of wine. What was I supposed to think?
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: We realized that it's a gift, in the sense that we didn't ask for it, and we may not have chosen it...
Howard Wolowitz: And we already have one.
Penny Hofstadter: You know, whenever I find a top I like, I always go back and get a second one in a different color. (pause) Which I hope is not the case with your baby.