Mary Cooper: Let's talk about food.
George Cooper Sr.: No need to. He likes his meat cooked to at least 165 degrees, except for chicken, which is 180. The different foods can't touch each other on the plate. Ketchup and mustard must come out of a packet. No bottles.
Mary Cooper: What about his issues with spaghetti?
George Cooper Sr.: That's a trick question. He likes spaghetti.
Mary Cooper: All right, I guess you got this.
Mary Cooper: George. You have to make an effort. Young boys who don't spend time with their daddies grow up to be oddballs.
George Cooper Sr.: Honey, I hate to tell you, but that ball is already pretty odd.
(George Sr. is running for paper so Meemaw can write him her recipe)
Mary Cooper: That's the fastest I've seen him run.
Sheldon Cooper: It's the only time I've seen him run.
George Cooper Sr.: You think Sheldon's right?
Mary Cooper: About what?
George Cooper Sr.: The punting and the math.
Mary Cooper: I should think so. He's been doing our taxes since he's six years old. We never been audited.
George Cooper Sr.: That's true.
Mary Cooper: He even got us that nice refund last year.
Sheldon Cooper: You said he didn't create the sun until day four.
Pastor Jeff: Yeah.
Sheldon Cooper: So how could there be light the first three days?
Pastor Jeff: God is light.
Sheldon Cooper: So God's a photon?
Pastor Jeff: God's what made photons possible.
Sheldon Cooper: And what day did he do that?
Pastor Jeff: I would think day one.
Sheldon Cooper: How could you count the days...?
George Cooper Sr. (whispering to Mary): If I grab my chest and keel over, maybe we can get out of here.
Mary Cooper: That's a terrible thing to say.
Pastor Jeff: ...because the first day had just begun.
Sheldon Cooper: So, before the Big Bang?
Pastor Jeff: There was no Big Bang. There was only the Word.
Sheldon Cooper: Was the word "kaboom"?
Mary Cooper: You want me to cook those eggs for you, baby?
Missy Cooper: No. They're a gift.
Mary Cooper: Sorry.
Missy Cooper: He even wrote me a note. "Eggs from your secret admirer, Billy."
Mary Cooper: How about we lose the bowtie?
Sheldon Cooper: Why?
Mary Cooper: Look around, honey. None of the other kids are wearing one.
Sheldon Cooper: Well, perhaps I'll start a fad.
Mary Cooper (reacting to Sheldon getting engaged): Lord, thank you. Even though you can do anything, that was MIGHTY impressive.