Mary Cooper: George. You have to make an effort. Young boys who don't spend time with their daddies grow up to be oddballs.
George Cooper Sr.: Honey, I hate to tell you, but that ball is already pretty odd.
(George Sr. is running for paper so Meemaw can write him her recipe)
Mary Cooper: That's the fastest I've seen him run.
Sheldon Cooper: It's the only time I've seen him run.
George Cooper Sr.: You think Sheldon's right?
Mary Cooper: About what?
George Cooper Sr.: The punting and the math.
Mary Cooper: I should think so. He's been doing our taxes since he's six years old. We never been audited.
George Cooper Sr.: That's true.
Mary Cooper: He even got us that nice refund last year.
Sheldon Cooper: You said he didn't create the sun until day four.
Pastor Jeff: Yeah.
Sheldon Cooper: So how could there be light the first three days?
Pastor Jeff: God is light.
Sheldon Cooper: So God's a photon?
Pastor Jeff: God's what made photons possible.
Sheldon Cooper: And what day did he do that?
Pastor Jeff: I would think day one.
Sheldon Cooper: How could you count the days...?
George Cooper Sr. (whispering to Mary): If I grab my chest and keel over, maybe we can get out of here.
Mary Cooper: That's a terrible thing to say.
Pastor Jeff: ...because the first day had just begun.
Sheldon Cooper: So, before the Big Bang?
Pastor Jeff: There was no Big Bang. There was only the Word.
Sheldon Cooper: Was the word "kaboom"?
Mary Cooper: You want me to cook those eggs for you, baby?
Missy Cooper: No. They're a gift.
Mary Cooper: Sorry.
Missy Cooper: He even wrote me a note. "Eggs from your secret admirer, Billy."
Mary Cooper: How about we lose the bowtie?
Sheldon Cooper: Why?
Mary Cooper: Look around, honey. None of the other kids are wearing one.
Sheldon Cooper: Well, perhaps I'll start a fad.
Mary Cooper (reacting to Sheldon getting engaged): Lord, thank you. Even though you can do anything, that was MIGHTY impressive.