Lucifer Morningstar Quotes

Latest quotes added:

Protestor: The end is nigh! Are you prepared to meet your maker?

Lucifer Morningstar: Just got rid of him, thank you.

Lucifer Morningstar: If you can't fix me, Dad, then at least stop trying to control me.

God: How do I control you?

Lucifer Morningstar: You just made me sing again! I mean, it has to stop, Dad.

God: Actually, I... I don't think that's possible.

Lucifer Morningstar: Right, well, if you're not gonna try, then I don't know why I should bother.

God: It's not that I won't. It's that I'm not sure I can.

Lucifer Morningstar: What does that mean?

God: My powers, son. I think I'm losing control of them.

Lucifer Morningstar (about his father): He turned my crime scene into a music video.

God: And I do believe I detected a certain baritone singing the loudest.

Lucifer Morningstar: It's baritone-tenor split, and I can't help myself if the music starts. You know that, and that's why you're doing it! That's why you're doing it.

God: Whatever I do, he assumes the worst possible intentions.

Lucifer Morningstar: That's because nothing is ever good enough for you. "Why don't you have a desk? Why doesn't your car have a roof? Why's your kitchen just a wall of Scotch?"

(Lucifer is giving God a tour of his workplace...)

Lucifer Morningstar: Interrogation's through those doors. Lots of judging goes on in there. You'd like that.

Lucifer Morningstar: Speak for yourself, young man. Tell me, what is it you truly desire?

Suspect: I... I... I wanna be in the CIA.

Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, did not see that coming.

Suspect: The Culinary Institute of America. I wanna be a pastry chef.

Suspect's mother: The CI what now?

Lucifer Morningstar: Madam, please! Ground your helicopter. It's time you let this poor boy make his own decisions.

Lucifer Morningstar: Dad... do you love us?

God: If I have to tell you... then I really have failed.

Lucifer Morningstar: A no, then.

Amenadiel: That's not what he said.

Lucifer Morningstar: He didn't say yes, did he? When I don't wanna lie, I don't answer the question. Picked that up from you, Dad. You know, it's... It's funny. I thought this moment would give me some catharsis. But instead, it's just made me realize one simple truth. That you will never love us... because you're incapable of love. And that's just sad. For all of us.

(Lucifer leaves, there is awkward silence...)

Linda Martin: More wine?

Lucifer Morningstar: Aren't you forgetting something? Well, shouldn't we say grace?

Linda Martin: I'll say it? Okay. I'd like to thank God for... I'm used to you being up there. Thank you, God, for this food and the company, and... oceans... and napkins and shoes and life.

Lucifer Morningstar: Yeah, that about covers it, Doctor. Thank you. Amen.

God: That was beautiful, Linda.

Linda Martin: Thank you. I just thanked God for napkins.

Amenadiel: It was better than I would have done.

Chloe Decker: Did you know that Chris had applied for a job at Hole in Juan?

Suspect: No, I didn't. But it makes sense. He'd never go back to the Kingdom. He'd rather...

Lucifer Morningstar: Burn it down. That's what I tried to do with the Silver City. Not that I'm comparing the two. Fewer windmills up there.

Lucifer Morningstar (to his Dad): Michael impersonated me, tried to ruin my life. Kidnapped the woman that I... He is behind every bad thing that's ever happened to me! Well, everything apart from you. And for someone who's supposed to be omniscient, it's amazing that you never actually see that! And apparently never will.

Lucifer Morningstar: Did Klumpsky ever meet his inspiration? Did he ever get a good look at him?

Mazikeen: No.

Lucifer Morningstar: Are you sure?

Mazikeen: Five broken ribs, a torn rotator cuff, and "It's a Small World" on repeat? Yeah, I'm sure.

Lucifer Morningstar: How am I going to find the detective without the detective?

Amenadiel: Maybe stop wasting time trying to get me to slow it and just, you know, do some good old-fashioned detective work.

Lucifer Morningstar: Detective work? Me?

Amenadiel: Are you trying to tell me that after all these years of working with Chloe... that you haven't learned anything? You can find her, Detective Morningstar.

Ella Lopez: I found this on her clothes, but dead end. Glitter's just an occupational hazard for Madison.

Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, no, she was a stripper.

Ella Lopez: No, elementary school teacher.

Pete Daily (to Ella): Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you at work. But I scored these two VIP tickets to the Star Trek convention downtown. I-I have no idea if you're into it, but it's totally my thing, and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me.

Lucifer Morningstar: Star Trek? Please, Miss Lopez knows more about that stuff than you ever could. (Ella speaks Klingon) See? She even speaks Chewbacca.

© 2024 Scattered Quotes

Up ↑