Lucifer Morningstar: We're not together together.
Eve: But we used to be. Maybe you've read about it in a little book called The Bible.
Bashir: Read about what?
Eve: You know, the garden, the snake, the apple.
Lucifer Morningstar: The metaphors were a bit off.
Eve: That's true. The forbidden fruit was less of an apple and more like a banana. A very large banana.
Lucifer Morningstar: It's true.
Eve: You never forget your first.
Eve: I've been in heaven longer than any other human and, let me tell you, paradise can get a little... predictable.
Lucifer Morningstar: Preaching to the choir.
Eve: So I started meeting every new soul that was coming through those Pearly Gates, just taking in all their incredible stories, you know, about everything that was going on down here. And then... Then I realized something huge, Luce. What I truly desire most... can only be found down here.
Lucifer Morningstar: And what is it you truly desire?
Eve: Excitement! You know? Thrills. Just some good, old-fashioned fun. I'm due a lifetime or two of it.
Lucifer Morningstar: So you're telling me you came all this way... just to party?
Eve: And... you know... see my ex. I mean you are, after all, the only person I know down here.
Lucifer Morningstar: Could you accept me like this? (shows up his devil face)
Chloe Decker: I... oh... You have no idea how much I want to. I do. I'm... I'm trying.
Lucifer Morningstar: But could you?
Chloe Decker: I don't know.
Lucifer Morningstar: Then I have my answer.
Lucifer Morningstar: How could you do that to me? To me?
Chloe Decker: Because I'm terrified! You are the... actual devil. I mean... every story of good and bad from throughout history, throughout time, says that you are the embodiment of evil. And how am I, Chloe Decker, a nobody... supposed to deal with that? But... But then... Then I came back. And... And I saw you. I really saw you. And I remembered how you made me feel. And I realized, Lucifer, you're not that guy.
Lucifer Morningstar: I hear congratulations are in order. Some people claim to find the life-long burden fulfilling.
Linda Martin: I'd rather not talk about the pregnancy at work, if you don't mind.
Lucifer Morningstar: A celestial impregnating a human... How is it even possible?
Amenadiel: And, if it is, how has this not already happened to you?
Lucifer Morningstar: True. Mm. Maybe there's another explanation.
Amenadiel: You think Linda's an angel in disguise, don't you? I've been wondering the same thing. Maybe she's not even human.
Lucifer Morningstar: Or, maybe, when you lost your wings, you became as mortal as it gets. Maybe you became more human than you realized.
Amenadiel: Oh. Probably makes more sense.
Lucifer Morningstar (to Father Kinley): Forgive me, Father... for not offering you a drink. I have an aversion to the cloth. Daddy issues. Long story.
Amenadiel: I thought things were okay between you and Chloe.
Lucifer Morningstar: They are. They are, yeah. We're back to being partners. Fully-clothed partners.
Lucifer Morningstar: Since you're here, you can help me decide. Moscow Midnight or Blue Lagoon?
Amenadiel: That's the same shirt. (points at one eventually)
Lucifer Morningstar: Are you sure?
Lucifer Morningstar: Thank you.
Lucifer Morningstar: Detective, this is a chance for me to use my devilish strength. You can see what I'm truly capable of.
Chloe Decker: Or I can just point my gun at him and yell, "Freeze!"
Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, come on. I've never really seen how far I can actually throw a human. Joking. Mostly.
Lucifer Morningstar: Are you... okay with what you saw? Detective... are you okay with me?
Chloe Decker: It's not like you haven't always told me the truth. You know? So... I think, deep down, I just... I always knew.
Lucifer Morningstar: But how does it make you feel? Afraid? Terrified? Do you want to yell at me? Punch me in the face? Run away again?
Chloe Decker: I... I think I just want to get back to work.
Lucifer Morningstar: That's all?
Chloe Decker: That's all. (Chloe walks away)
Lucifer Morningstar: What the f...