Lucifer Morningstar Quotes

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Lucifer Morningstar: Do you think it's possible I've given my power to everyone I've ever had sex with and just never knew it?

Linda Martin: Uh... Who, me? No.

Lucifer Morningstar: Well, we did the deed, several times, and in, you know, all sorts of positions.

Linda Martin: Yes, I remember. How could I forget? Anyway... But, Lucifer, your mojo is like a superpower. I don't have it. Or do I? I guess I've never tried.

Lucifer Morningstar: Well, let's try now. Come on. Lean in. Look into my eyes. Ask me what I desire.

Linda Martin: This is good. I mean...Lucifer... what do you desire?

Lucifer Morningstar: No. Nada. Totally limp.

Linda Martin: Oof. Ouch.

Lucifer Morningstar: Well, that's several million bullets dodged.

Chloe Decker: I had a... interesting conversation with Amenadiel.

Lucifer Morningstar: Please tell me you're not making him police consultant. Anything but that.

Chloe Decker: No, actually. He has, um, a theory about why I make you vulnerable.

Lucifer Morningstar: Oh. Do tell.

Chloe Decker: Well... His theory is that... I don't.

Lucifer Morningstar: Well, I have many scars to prove otherwise.

Chloe Decker: He thinks that... you choose to be vulnerable around me.

Lucifer Morningstar: I choose to... Well, I'll be damned. I think he might be right. I... Detective.

Chloe Decker: Lucifer. If that's true... If you choose to be vulnerable around me... then I choose to be vulnerable around you.

Lucifer Morningstar: Thank you for finally agreeing to meet with me, Detective.

Chloe Decker: Well, after 57 phone calls, twice as many texts, the billboard off Sunset, and the ill-conceived stripper-gram...

Lucifer Morningstar: In my defense, Roberto came highly recommended.

Chloe Decker: Lucifer, I am ready to talk, and yes, thank you for being patient, but I really don't know what you can say that's going to make a difference.

(Lucifer is telling a real story to Trixie with little changes and we see it as a flashback where Mr. Stompanato is played by Ella...)

Trixie Espinoza: Wait, hold it!

Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, for crying out loud.

Trixie Espinoza: I thought you said "Mr. Stompanato". "Mr." is a man.

Lucifer Morningstar: Did you or did you not request a gender-balanced narrative? I'm simply following your instructions.

(Flashback/Lucifer's story for Trixie...)

Lucifer Morningstar: The Devil, solving crime. It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

Chloe Decker: I mean, does that bother you at all, that you have no say in what your character does or says?

Brianna Davis (Detective Dancer): Are you kidding? I'm a lead in a hit show, and you know, there are strippers out there considering becoming detectives now. I'm kind of a role model.

Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, lovely.

Lucifer Morningstar: Michael needles people's fears. It's what he does. But we also know he's all bark and no bite. Don't you remember, growing up? He'd get under your skin with one of his schemes, then you'd give him one of your atomic wedgies, and that'd be that.

Amenadiel: I don't think a wedgie's gonna do it this time.

Lucifer Morningstar: I don't want you to see me like this. I know it scares you.

Chloe Decker: No, that's... that's what I was trying to tell you. I'm not... I'm not afraid of you anymore.

Lucifer Morningstar: You're not?

Dromos: You see, this is what I'm talking about. It's so sweet. I'm going to puke.

Lucifer Morningstar (to Linda): Oh, enjoy your child. Have him ring me when he's old enough to go to strip clubs.

(Lucifer turned full devil...)

Lucifer Morningstar: If I turn around, will you be fine or will you look away in horror?

Chloe Decker: It doesn't matter.

Lucifer Morningstar: Of course it does, detective.

Chloe Decker: No, it doesn't. Because this isn't about me. This is about you. Not gonna let you use me as an excuse to avoid dealing with what is behind all of this. You always talk about how much you hate being blamed for humanity's sins. You know, "The Devil made me do it," and I think I know why you hate it so much, because deep down, you blame yourself just as much... if not more! You have to stop taking responsibility for things you can't control. Lucifer... you need to forgive yourself.

Lucifer Morningstar: I can't.

Chloe Decker: Why?

Lucifer Morningstar: I don't know how to. I don't even know where to begin. But...

Chloe Decker: But what?

Lucifer Morningstar: I want to.

(Lucifer starts turning back...)

Lucifer Morningstar: There is something rotten inside of me. I find it near impossible to drown out the constant cacophony of voices whispering in my ear, telling me I am evil. I'm drowning, doctor! And I can't stop asking myself... why do I hate myself so much?

Chloe Decker: Father Kinley had been asking to see me, so I finally went and... he told me about... a prophecy.

Lucifer Morningstar: Right. What is it this time? Are frogs about to start falling from the sky or... perhaps winter is coming.

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