Leonard Hofstadter Quotes

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Leonard Hofstadter: What-what are you doing?

Sheldon Cooper: The light is red so I came to a stop.

Leonard Hofstadter: You're in a stolen cop car with a dead hooker in the trunk. You don't have to obey traffic laws.

Sheldon Cooper: I know I don't have to. The fun is choosing to.

(Leonard gets a text)

Penny Hofstadter: Who is that?

Leonard Hofstadter: Sheldon.

Penny Hofstadter: Who is he mad at?

Leonard Hofstadter: Neil Gaiman.

Penny Hofstadter: Who's that?

Leonard Hofstadter: Not us.

Penny Hofstadter: Great.

Robert Wolcott: Well, let me show you around. This is the chair where I do most of my thinking, my thinking about work. Now, my thinking about people who have WRONGED me, I do over there.

Sheldon Cooper: I've always said that I should get a grudge chair. Leonard, have I not always said that?

Leonard Hofstadter: Mm, you have... but you were worried you'd spend too much time in it.

Sheldon Cooper: Yeah. That was a real concern.

Sheldon Cooper: I suppose it is time I passed this on to Leonard.

Penny Hofstadter: Thank you.

Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah, thanks. I-I know that's hard for you.

Sheldon Cooper: Well, it was. But you know what? Instead of being in charge, I can now be the vocal opposition, criticizing and badgering the president at every turn.

Amy Farrah Fowler: I think you'll be really good at that.

Sheldon Cooper: Me, too.

Leonard Hofstadter: I think I've made a huge mistake.

Penny Hofstadter: Me, too.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon, it's the American way, the peaceful transfer of power.

Sheldon Cooper: I don't know.

Leonard Hofstadter: Think about Ant-Man.

Sheldon Cooper: I'm always thinking about Ant-Man.

Leonard Hofstadter: Michael Douglas had the suit and then he passed it on to Paul Rudd.

Sheldon Cooper: Maybe you're right.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Really? The Ant-Man thing? That's what won you over?

Sheldon Cooper: Yes. He got the details right. That's how you use a superhero.

Leonard Hofstadter: I'm running for president of the tenants association and I could really use your vote.

Tenant: Uh, who's president now?

Penny Hofstadter: Uh, Sheldon Cooper. You know, about yay tall and about yay annoying.

Tenant: So you want me to vote against Sheldon Cooper?

Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah. You just need to show up at a meeting...

Tenant: Oh, no, no. No can do. He's got a restraining order against me.

Penny Hofstadter: Really? Why?

Tenant: Uh, I locked him on the roof once. (whispers): Three times.

Leonard Hofstadter: So you're gonna spend a day with Bill Gates. I'm a little jealous.

Penny Hofstadter: Well, I'm a little nervous. You know, if I do a good job, I'm hoping they'll consider me for a PR position that's opening up.

Leonard Hofstadter: Well, if you're nervous, I-I know a lot about him. I can fill you in or maybe come along, whatever.

Penny Hofstadter: I think I'll be okay.

Leonard Hofstadter: Well, I'm-I'm just saying, what are you gonna do when he wants to talk about high-level language interpreters for microcomputers?

Penny Hofstadter: What are high-level language interpreters for microcomputers?

Leonard Hofstadter: A way of programming computers using words and commands instead of binary code.

Penny Hofstadter: Oh. That's actually kind of interesting. Tell me more.

Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, well...

Penny Hofstadter: That, I'll do that.

Leonard Hofstadter: I didn't even see it coming.

Penny Hofstadter: Yeah, well... You never do.

Leonard Hofstadter: You're my best friend. I want you to have the wedding of your dreams.

Sheldon Cooper: On Mars?

Leonard Hofstadter: Okay, I want Amy to have the wedding of her dreams.

Penny Hofstadter: What's that noise?

Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, it's my new keyboard. It looks and sounds like an old-fashioned typewriter. It makes me feel like a real novelist.

Penny Hofstadter: You poured yourself a Scotch.

Leonard Hofstadter: Apple juice.

Penny Hofstadter: Oh.

Leonard Hofstadter: But unsweetened, like Hemingway used to drink.

Leonard Hofstadter: Amy and I were talking about old science fair projects, and how fun it would be to recreate them.

Amy Farrah Fowler: We're making hot ice.

Leonard Hofstadter: Mm-hmm. It's pretty cool.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Nice one. (Amy and Leonard high five)

Leonard Hofstadter: I'm starting a book.

Sheldon Cooper: That would be big news from Penny, but you've read a book before.

Penny Hofstadter: He means he's writing a book.

Leonard Hofstadter: I do. It's something I've been thinking about for a long time.

Penny Hofstadter: Yeah. It's about a brilliant physicist who solves crimes using science.

Sheldon Cooper: Oh, Leonard...

Leonard Hofstadter: It's not about you!

Sheldon Cooper: He probably has to say that for legal reasons.

Leonard Hofstadter: Isn't Halley's birthday the same as Amy's?

Howard Wolowitz: Yeah, but we're not doing anything big 'cause she's one, Bernadette's on bed rest, and I'm lazy.

Sheldon Cooper: What do you think will make the wedding worse for Amy: a cake made with salt instead of sugar... or a cake iced with congealed gravy?

Leonard Hofstadter: That is a trick question. The answer is: you as the groom.

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