60+ Best 'Joey Tribbiani' Quotes | Page 2 of 5 | Scattered Quotes

Joey Tribbiani Quotes

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(After Phoebe gives Monica the wrong haircut...)

Ross Geller: How's the hair?

Phoebe Buffay: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross. It doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.

Joey Tribbiani: Can we see her?

Phoebe Buffay: Your hair looks too good. It would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.

Joey Tribbiani: Oh, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello. He'll know what it means.

Chandler Bing: You sure he's gonna be able to crack that code?

Joey Tribbiani: Go see Frankie. My family's been going to him forever. He did my first suit when I was 15. No, wait, 16. No, excuse me, heh, 15. All right, when was 1990?

Chandler Bing: Okay, you have to stop the Q-Tip when there's resistance!

Joey Tribbiani: It was amazing, and not just for her. For me too! It's like, all of a sudden I'm blind... but all my other senses are heightened. It's like I was able to appreciate it... on another level.

Chandler Bing: I didn't know you had another level.

Joey Tribbiani: I know. Neither did I!

Joey Tribbiani: Last night I couldn't do the thing that usually makes me great. So I had to do all this other stuff. And the response I got! Man, oh, man! It was like a ticker-tape parade!

Chandler Bing: I know. My room's very, very close to the parade route.

(Ross's gift for Rachel is expensive antique pin)

Phoebe Buffay: It's so pretty! This must've cost him a fortune.

Monica Geller: I can't believe he did this.

Chandler Bing: Remember back in college when he fell in love with Carol... and bought her that riddiculously expensive crystal duck?

Rachel Green: What did you just say?

Chandler Bing: Crystal duck.

Rachel Green: No, no, no. The "love" part? Oh, my God!

Chandler Bing: Oh, no, no, no.

Joey Tribbiani: That's good. Just keep rubbing your head. That'll turn back time.

Joey Tribbiani: According to the rules... I can't conduct personal experiments, if you know what I mean.

Monica Geller: Joey, we always know what you mean.

Ross Geller: When we talked, she said she'd already passed the mucous plug.

Joey Tribbiani: Do we have to know about that?

Monica Geller: What'll you do when you have a baby?

Joey Tribbiani: I'm gonna be in the waiting room, handing out cigars.

Chandler Bing: Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the '50s.

Joey Tribbiani: You know, there already is a Joseph Stalin.

Chandler Bing: You're kidding.

Joey Tribbiani: Apparently, he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered all these people. You'd think you would've known that.

Chandler Bing: You'd think I would've. Hey, how about Joey Heatherton?

Joey Tribbiani: Come on, I told you I don't wanna go back to Joey. Phoebe. What do you think a good stage name for me would be?

Phoebe Buffay: Flame Boy.

Joey Tribbiani: My agent wants a more neutral name.

Chandler Bing: Joey Switzerland?

Joey Tribbiani: Plus, I think it should be Joe. Joey makes me sound like I'm this big: Which I'm not.

Chandler Bing: Joe, Joe, Joe... Stalin?

Joey Tribbiani: Stalin. Stalin... Do I know that name? That sounds familiar.

Chandler Bing: Well, it does not ring a bell with me.

Joey Tribbiani: Joe Stalin. You know, that's pretty good.

Chandler Bing: You might wanna try Joseph.

Joey Tribbiani: Joseph Stalin. I think you'd remember that.

Chandler Bing: Oh yes. Bye Bye Birdie, starring Joseph Stalin. Joseph Stalin is the Fiddler on the Roof.

Hot girl: Do you know anything about fixing radiators?

Joey Tribbiani: Sure! Sure! Did you try turning the knob back the other way?

Hot girl: Of course!

Joey Tribbiani: Oh. Then, no.

Monica Geller: We've got salmon roulettes and crudites.

Joey Tribbiani: What are you doing? In poker, there's no food with more than one syllable. It's got to be like chips or dip or pretz...

Monica Geller: I hope you'll let it slide just this once. I was all out of "pretz."

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