Ned Leeds: I wasted my life playing video games, and we're gonna die.
Betty Brant: I have a fake ID, and I've never even used it.
Flash Thompson: I post stupid videos daily for people to like me.
Happy Hogan: Hey, if it wasn't for those stupid videos, Spider-Man would've never found you.
Flash Thompson: Spider-Man...? Spider-Man follows me? I saved us, guys.
MJ: If you saved us, why are we about to die? I'm sorry, okay? I'm obsessed with telling the truth even if it hurts other people's feelings.
Happy Hogan: I'm in love with Spider-Man's aunt. We're sharing, right?