Jeff Atkins: Well? Complete sentences, right?
Clay Jensen: Yeah, totally.
Jeff Atkins: I even used a semicolon.
Clay Jensen: I saw that. Mad props.
Clay Jensen: Christ, Courtney, you've got two gay dads!
Courtney Crimsen: Yeah, and I have since I was in preschool, when no one had gay dads. Do you have any idea what that's like? Even now. I mean... What if I were? What do you think everyone would say? "She's got two gay dads, that's why she's..." And my dads, they've taken so much crap, my whole life, for being gay and then for being dads, and I just can't... I couldn't do that to them.
Matt Jensen: Did you shower?
Clay Jensen: I totally showered.
Matt Jensen: I feel it's possible you didn't shower.
Clay Jensen: I didn't shower. Look, I just... I turned the water on just now, and I thought about it all, the whole thing, taking clothes off, dealing with hair, and I just... I couldn't do it. Look, we shower, like... every day, and it's just... a lot.
Matt Jensen: I prefer to leave my lectures in the lecture hall, but, you know... there's actually an important lesson to be learned from a hangover.
Clay Jensen: Don't drink?
Matt Jensen: Sure, but... you'll drink. It happens. The overarching lesson is that actions have consequences. Judging from the way you look, you've probably suffered enough for today.
Clay Jensen: What is that?
Matt Jensen: Hot sauce, horseradish, kale, a raw egg, and, uh, about six other things designed to cure a hangover.
Clay Jensen: Vampires, aliens, even werewolves, I get it. I get the motivation, I get the metaphors, right? But, like, zombies? They're just... They're just stupid.
Hannah Baker: So you hate zombies? You're a zombie racist.
Clay Jensen: Just, like, I don't understand 'em. What's their story? They don't want to take over the world, kill their masters, anything interesting. They're not good or evil. They're just hungry... for brains. I mean, like, brains.
Clay Jensen: Maybe you need some chamomile tea.
Alex Standall: 'Cause people are listening? Well, it's too bad no one paid attention before.
Alex Standall: What, they think these are gonna save someone's life? "Suicide's not an option"? Yeah, you know what? Clearly it is an option, you know? Why don't they put up a poster that says "Don't be a fuckin' dick"? Why don't we put up that poster?
Clay Jensen: Yeah, that would be cool with me. I try not to be a dick.
Alex Standall: Yeah, we all try.
Tony Padilla: Clay, you're the slowest yet. What is taking you so long?
Clay Jensen: It's hard. To listen.
Hannah Baker: Do you think I could ever be as pretty as Jessica Davis? (awkward silence) Great. Thanks. Got it.
Clay Jensen: No, I-I just... I mean, yeah, Jessica's pretty and all, but you're special.
Hannah Baker: Special. Like retarded.
Clay Jensen: Did I say retarded? I didn't say retarded, and I don't think we're supposed to use that word anymore.
Hannah Baker: Regardless... I saw you try to be kind... and, you know, fail.
Clay Jensen: Sometimes it’s better to wait.
Hannah Baker: Wow. Okay, meaning what?
Clay Jensen: Just that, um… Nothing. I mean…
Hannah Baker: Pardon me, but you really hurt my feelings.
Hannah Baker (from the tape): This was not a spur of the moment decision. Do not take me for granted. Not again.
Clay Jensen: I never did!
Clay Jensen: Dad, where’s your radio thing?
Matt Jensen: “My radio thing”?
Clay Jensen: That thing you play CDs on when you’re painting or working in the yard or whatever.
Matt Jensen: My boom box.
Clay Jensen: That really what they’re called?
Matt Jensen: They were. I believe now they’re called obsolete.