Ted (2024) Quotes

Matty Bennett: What happened to the TV?

Ted: Oh, I accidentally shot it.

Matty Bennett: You shot it?

Ted: Yeah, and I felt really bad about it. And then I was like, "Hey, Ted, it was an accident. Stop being so hard on yourself. It's bad enough that it happened. You feeling bad's not going to fix it." So I called these ladies because I was trying to make myself feel better. And I do. I feel better.

(Going through Matty's stuff...)

Ted: Oh, here we go. (finds a rifle) Oh, talk about the right to bear arms. Bear arms bearing arms, right? Oh, man, everybody's missing all this great stuff.