One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody’s listening.– Franklin P. Jones Full Quote & More Info | | 0
Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.– George Carlin Full Quote & More Info | | 0
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.– Anthony Burgess Full Quote & More Info | | 0
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.– Benjamin Franklin Full Quote & More Info | | 0
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.– Mitch Hedberg Full Quote & More Info | | 0
My wife and I divided up the important talks we’ll have with our daughters. She’ll handle puberty, sex, and college. I’ll handle zombies.– James Breakwell Full Quote & More Info | | 0
Wife: You’re still out of breath?Me: I ran hard.Wife: That was yesterday.Me: Just a few more minutes.– James Breakwell Full Quote & More Info | | 0
My 2-year-old is walking around calling her lightsaber a “life saver.” We have a dangerous misunderstanding on our hands.– James Breakwell Full Quote & More Info | | 0
Me: Did you have a good day at school?6-year-old: That’s not how school works.– James Breakwell Full Quote & More Info | | 0
Me: Scientists found what makes hair turn gray and fall out.Wife: They discovered children?– James Breakwell Full Quote & More Info | | 0
Me: Who ate my brownie?2-year-old: A penguin.Me: Are you the penguin?2: *waddles away*– James Breakwell Full Quote & More Info | | 0
