Tony Stark (narration): And so, as Christmas morning began, my journey had reached its end. You start with something pure, something exciting. Then, come the mistakes. The compromises. We create our own demons. As promised, I got Pepper sorted out. It took some tinkering. But then I thought to myself. Why stop there? Of course, there are people who say progress is dangerous, but I'll bet none of those idiots ever had to live with a chestful of shrapnel. And now, neither will I. Let me tell you... that was the best sleep I'd had in years. So, if I were to wrap this up, tie it with a bow, or whatever... I guess I'd say, my armour, it was never a distraction, or a hobby. It was a cocoon. And now, I'm a changed man. You can take away my house, all my tricks and toys. One thing you can't take away... I am Iron Man.
Pepper Potts: And all your distractions?
Tony Stark: I'm going to shave them down a little bit. Jarvis. Hey.
Jarvis: All wrapped up here, sir. Will there be anything else?
Tony Stark: You know what to do.
Jarvis: The Clean Slate Protocol, sir?
Tony Stark: Screw it, it's Christmas. Yes, yes.
(All the suits explode)
Tony Stark: Ok, so far? Do you like it?
Pepper Potts: It'll do.
(One of Tony's suits targets Pepper as she has the same heat signature as bad guys...)
Tony Stark: What are you mad at me?
(Pepper takes down Tony's suit and than Killian)
Tony Stark: Honey?
Pepper Potts: Oh, my God. That was really violent.
Tony Stark: You just scared the devil out of me. I thought you were...
Pepper Potts: I was dead. Why? Because I fell 200 feet? Who's the hot mess now?
Tony Stark: It's still debatable. Probably tipping your way a little bit. Why don't you dress like this at home? Sport bra. The whole deal.
(Tony has another panic attack...)
Tony Stark: God, what am I gonna do?
Harley Keener: Just breathe. Really, just breathe. You're a mechanic, right?
Tony Stark: Right.
Harley Keener: You said so.
Tony Stark: Yes, I did.
Harley Keener: Why don't you just build something?
Tony Stark (calms down): Ok. Thanks, kid.
Tony Stark: Harley, tell me what's happening. Give me a full report.
Harley Keener: Yeah, I'm still eating that candy. Do you want me to keep eating it?
Tony Stark: How much have you had?
Harley Keener: Two or three bowls.
Tony Stark: Can you still see straight?
Harley Keener: Sort of.
Tony Stark: That means you're fine.
Gary: I don't know if you can tell, but I have like... patterned my whole look after you. My hair's a little... It's not right, because there is no...
Tony Stark: It's fine.
Gary: Product in it.
Tony Stark: Right.
Gary: I don't want to make things awkward for you, but I do have to show you... (shows his tattoo) Boom!
Tony Stark: A Hispanic Scott Baio. I'm sorry. Is that me?
Gary: Yeah. It's I mean...
Tony Stark: I had them do it off a doll that I made, so it's not like it's off a picture. So it's a little bit...
Tony Stark: Your redesign, your big rebrand, that was AIM, right?
Tony Stark: I'm gonna find a heavy-duty comm sat right now, I need your login.
Rhodey: It's the same as it's always been, WarMachine68.
Tony Stark: And password, please.
Rhodey: Well look, I got to change it every time you hack in, Tony.
Tony Stark: It's not the '80s, nobody says hack any more. Give me your login.
Rhodey: WAR MACHINE ROX with an X all caps. (Bad guys laugh, Tony laughs...) Yeah, ok.
Tony Stark: That is... so much better than Iron Patriot.