Simon Lewis Quotes

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(After Jace saves Simon...)

Valentine Morgenstern: You have no idea what you've done, Jonathan. No idea.

Jace Herondale: I saved a life. One you tried to take. I know that much.

Valentine Morgenstern: Not a human life. You resurrected a monster that will only kill to feed again. His kind are always hungry—

Simon Lewis: I'm hungry right now. I wouldn't mind a little more blood. Of course your blood would probably choke me, you poisonous piece of—

(Simon drinks blood from Jace and barely makes himself stop...)

Simon Lewis: I could have killed you.

Jace Herondale: I would have let you.

Simon Lewis: How do you know that?

Jace Herondale: I can hear it. And so could you if you tried, bloodsucker.

Simon Lewis (to Clary): I think I liked "mundane" better than "bloodsucker."

Clary Fairchild: With Jace, you don't really get to choose your insulting nickname.

Simon Lewis: I keep thinking about blood. I dream about it. Wake up thinking about it. Pretty soon I'll be writing morbid emo poetry about it.

Jace Herondale: I'm not kissing the mundane. I'd rather stay down here and rot.

Simon Lewis: Forever? Forever's an awfully long time.

Jace Herondale: I knew it. You want to kiss me, don't you?

Simon Lewis: Look on the bright side. If they need a human sacrifice, you can always offer me. I'm not sure the rest of you qualify anyway.

Jace Herondale: It's always nice when someone volunteers to be the first up against the wall.

Izzy Lightwood: How did you get Magnus to let Jace leave?

Clary Fairchild: Traded him for Alec.

(Isabelle looks mildly alarmed.)

Izzy Lightwood: Not permanently?

Jace Herondale: No. Just for a few hours. Unless I don't come back. In which case, maybe he does get to keep Alec. Think of it as a lease with an option to buy.

Izzy Lightwood: Mom and Dad won't be pleased if they find out.

Simon Lewis: That you freed a possible criminal by trading away your brother to a warlock who looks like a gay Sonic the Hedgehog and dresses like the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? No, probably not.

(Clary spills hot coffee at her hand...)

Simon Lewis: Let me see.

Clary Fairchild: It's okay. No big deal.

(Simon kisses her hand...)

Simon Lewis: All better now.

Jace Herondale: You're a Shadowhunter. You know how to deal with injuries. (He slides his stele across the table toward her.) Use it.

Clary Fairchild: No. (pushes the stele back across the table at him)

Jace Herondale: Clary...

Simon Lewis: She said she doesn't want it. Ha-ha.

Jace Herondale: Ha-ha? That's your comeback?

(Alec comes in...)

Alec Lightwood: What's going on?

Magnus Bane: We seem to be trapped in an episode of One Life to Waste. It's all very dull.

(Magnus is standing by the window thinking out loud...)

Magnus Bane: Blood. I had a dream two nights ago. I saw a city all of blood, with towers made of bone, and blood ran in the streets like water.

Simon Lewis: Is standing by the window muttering about blood something he does all the time?

Jace Herondale: No, sometimes he sits on the couch and does it.

Luke Garroway (to Clary): There is something you should have. Something every Shadowhunter should have.

Simon Lewis: An obnoxious, arrogant attitude?

Luke Garroway: A stele. Every Shadowhunter should have a stele.

Clary Fairchild: Do you have one?

(Luke brings out a stele and puts it on the table...)

Clary Fairchild: Pretty.

Luke Garroway: I'm glad you think so, because I want you to have it.

Clary Fairchild: Have it? But it's yours, isn't it?

Luke Garroway: This was your mother's. She didn't want to keep it

at the apartment in case you happened across it, so she asked me to hold

on to it for her.

(Clary picks up the stele...)

Clary Fairchild: I can have it?

Luke Garroway: Sure. It's an old model, of course, almost twenty years out of date. They may have refined the designs since. Still, it's reliable enough.

(There is no pizza left and Luke finds out Simon ate most of it...)

Simon Lewis: Does this mean you're going to wolf out and eat me?

Luke Garroway: Certainly not. You would be stringy and hard to digest.

Simon Lewis: But kosher.

Luke Garroway: I'll be sure to point any Jewish lycanthropes your way.

Simon Lewis: It's really weird thinking of Luke as someone who was once a Shadowhunter. Weirder than it is thinking of him as a werewolf.

Clary Fairchild: Really? Why?

Simon Lewis: I've heard of werewolves before. They're sort of a known element. So he turns into a wolf once a month, so what. But the Shadowhunter thing—they're like a cult.

Clary Fairchild: They're not like a cult.

Simon Lewis: Sure they are. Shadowhunting is their whole lives. And they look down on everyone else. They call us mundanes. Like they're not human beings. They're not friends with ordinary people, they don't go to the same places, they don't know the same jokes, they think they're above us.

Clary Fairchild: What's with that "hey" thing?

Simon Lewis: What "hey" thing?

Clary Fairchild: The "hey" thing that guys always do. Like when you saw Jace and Alec, you said "hey," and they said "hey" back. What's wrong with "hello"?

Simon Lewis: "Hello" is girly. Real men are terse. Laconic.

Clary Fairchild: So the more manly you are, the less you say?

Simon Lewis: Right. That's why when major badasses greet each other in movies, they don't say anything, they just nod. The nod means, "I am a badass, and I recognize that you, too, are a badass," but they don't say anything because they're Wolverine and Magneto and it would mess up their vibe to explain.

Simon Lewis: I was trying to make you jealous! You're so stupid, Clary. You're so stupid, can't you see anything?

Clary Fairchild: Trying to make me jealous? Why would you try to do that?

Simon Lewis: Because I've been in love with you for ten years, so I thought it seemed like time to find out whether you felt the same about me. Which, I guess, you don't. Don't. There's nothing you can say. You really want to know what else it was my mom said about you? She said you'd break my heart.

Clary Fairchild: Does it hurt?

Jace Herondale: No. I have a high pain threshold. In fact, it's less of a threshold and more of a large and tastefully decorated foyer. But I do get easily bored. Do you remember back at the hotel when you promised that if we lived, you'd get dressed up in a nurse's outfit and give me a sponge bath?

Clary Fairchild: Actually, I think you misheard. It was Simon who promised you the sponge bath.

Simon Lewis (smirks at Jace): As soon as I'm back on my feet, handsome.

Jace Herondale: I knew we should have left you a rat.

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