Clary Fairchild: What's with that "hey" thing?
Simon Lewis: What "hey" thing?
Clary Fairchild: The "hey" thing that guys always do. Like when you saw Jace and Alec, you said "hey," and they said "hey" back. What's wrong with "hello"?
Simon Lewis: "Hello" is girly. Real men are terse. Laconic.
Clary Fairchild: So the more manly you are, the less you say?
Simon Lewis: Right. That's why when major badasses greet each other in movies, they don't say anything, they just nod. The nod means, "I am a badass, and I recognize that you, too, are a badass," but they don't say anything because they're Wolverine and Magneto and it would mess up their vibe to explain.
Simon Lewis: I was trying to make you jealous! You're so stupid, Clary. You're so stupid, can't you see anything?
Clary Fairchild: Trying to make me jealous? Why would you try to do that?
Simon Lewis: Because I've been in love with you for ten years, so I thought it seemed like time to find out whether you felt the same about me. Which, I guess, you don't. Don't. There's nothing you can say. You really want to know what else it was my mom said about you? She said you'd break my heart.
Clary Fairchild: Does it hurt?
Jace Herondale: No. I have a high pain threshold. In fact, it's less of a threshold and more of a large and tastefully decorated foyer. But I do get easily bored. Do you remember back at the hotel when you promised that if we lived, you'd get dressed up in a nurse's outfit and give me a sponge bath?
Clary Fairchild: Actually, I think you misheard. It was Simon who promised you the sponge bath.
Simon Lewis (smirks at Jace): As soon as I'm back on my feet, handsome.
Jace Herondale: I knew we should have left you a rat.
Jace Herondale: You'll be the first mundane who has ever been inside the Institute.
Simon Lewis: Probably the smell keeps the rest of them away.
Clary Fairchild (to Jace): Ignore him. He always says exactly what comes into his head. No filters.
Simon Lewis: Filters are for cigarettes and coffee. Two things I could use right now, incidentally.
Clary Fairchild: He's a Shadowhunter.
Jace Herondale: A demon hunter. I kill demons. It's not that complicated, really.
Simon Lewis (to Clary): For real?
Clary Fairchild: For real.
Simon Lewis: And there are vampires, too? Werewolves, warlocks, all that stuff?
Clary Fairchild: So I hear.
Simon Lewis (to Jace): And you kill them, too?
Jace Herondale: Only when they've been naughty.
Simon Lewis: That is so awesome.
Jace Herondale: Awesome?
Simon Lewis: Totally. It's like Dungeons and Dragons, but real.
Clary Fairchild: You're my best friend. I wasn't mad at you.
Simon Lewis: Yeah, well, you clearly also couldn't be bothered to call me and tell me you were shacking up with some dyed-blond wannabe goth you probably met at Pandemonium. After I spent the past three days wondering if you were dead.
Clary Fairchild (turning red): I was not shacking up.
Jace Herondale: And my hair is naturally blond. Just for the record.
(Clary is trying to convince Simon to ask a girl out...)
Simon Lewis: I don't want to ask her out because it wouldn't really be fair to her if I did...
Clary Fairchild: Why not?
Simon Lewis: Because I like someone else.
Clary Fairchild: Okay. You're not gay, are you?
Simon Lewis: If I were, I would dress better.
Maia Roberts: What about you? How's your book coming along?
Simon Lewis: Ooh! I finally came up with a title. Unseen World: The Divine Implements by Ezekiel J. Russo.
Maia Roberts: Ooh! Nice pen name.
Simon Lewis: I wish I could use my name, though. Clary would be really excited to see that the graphic novel we started working on so long ago was finally finished.
Izzy Lightwood: How is life as a mundane?
Raphael Santiago: It's amazing. I'm finally able to pursue a calling I've had since I was a kid.
Simon Lewis: Celebrity tamale chef. Men's tailor?
Raphael Santiago: Yeah, no. I joined the seminary.
Izzy Lightwood: You're gonna be a priest?
Raphael Santiago: One day. But I have to get back in touch with my God first.
Clary Fairchild: Edom is definitely not the Brooklyn Academy of Art.
Simon Lewis: Given the chance, would you go back?
Clary Fairchild: To school? I wouldn't trade the Shadow World for anything. Before, I always felt like there was something missing. And then I met Jace outside Pandemonium and my life finally made sense. Besides, if none of this would have happened, you would have never met Izzy. Look, for me, becoming a Shadowhunter, it's who I was always meant to be.
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