Sherlock Holmes Quotes

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Mycroft Holmes (looking at a screen): Why am I looking at this?

Sherlock Holmes: That’s her, John and Mary’s baby.

Mycroft Holmes: Oh, I see, yes. Looks very… fully functioning.

Sherlock Holmes: Is that really the best you can do?

Mycroft Holmes: Sorry, I’ve never been very good with them.

Sherlock Holmes: Babies?

Mycroft Holmes: Humans.

Sherlock Holmes: I can’t stand it, never can. There’s a loose thread in the world.

John Watson: It doesn’t mean you have to pull on it.

Sherlock Holmes: What kind of a life would that be?

Mary Watson (about a case): And what are you going to call this one?

John Watson: Oh, the Ghost Driver.

Sherlock Holmes: Don’t give it a title.

John Watson: People like the titles.

Sherlock Holmes: They hate the titles.

John Watson: Give the people what they want.

Sherlock Holmes: No, never do that – people are stupid.

Greg Lestrade: You’re at the beck and call of a screaming, demanding baby, woken up at all hours to obey its every whim. Must feel very different…

Sherlock Holmes: Sorry, what?

John Watson: Yes, well, you know how it is. All you do is clean up their mess, pat them on the head.

Sherlock Holmes: Are you two having a little joke?

John Watson: Never a word of thanks. Can’t even tell people’s faces apart.

Sherlock Holmes: This is a joke, isn’t it?

Greg Lestrade: Yeah, and it’s all, ā€œOh, aren’t you clever. You’re so, so clever.ā€

Sherlock Holmes: Is it about me?

Greg Lestrade: I think he needs winding.

John Watson: You know, I think that really might be it.

Sherlock Holmes: No, don’t get it.

Sherlock Holmes: Take all the credit. It gets boring if I just solve them all.

Greg Lestrade: Yeah, you say that, but then John blogs about it, and you get all the credit anyway.

John Watson: He’s got a point.

Greg Lestrade: Which makes me look like some kind of prima Donna who insists on getting credit for something he didn’t do!

John Watson: Well, I think you’ve hit a sore spot, Sherlock.

Greg Lestrade: Like I’m some kind of credit junkie.

John Watson: Definitely a sore spot.

Molly Hooper: Didn’t you get John’s text?

Sherlock Holmes: No. I delete his texts. I delete any text that begins ā€œHi.ā€

Molly Hooper: No idea why people think you’re incapable of human emotion.

John Watson (to Sherlock): Godfather, we’d like you to be godfather.

Sherlock Holmes: God is a ludicrous fiction, dreamt up by inadequates who abnegate all responsibility to an invisible magic friend.

John Watson: Yeah, but there’ll be cake. Will you do it?

Sherlock Holmes: I’ll get back to you.

John Watson: A jellyfish?

Sherlock Holmes: I know.

John Watson: You can’t arrest a jellyfish.

Sherlock Holmes: You could try.

John Watson: We did try.

ā€˜The Duplicate Man – How could Dennis Parkinson be in two places at the same time? And murder one of them?’

John Watson: Sherlock…

Sherlock Holmes: It’s never twins.

Sherlock Holmes (about Moriarty): He’s planned something, something long-term. Something that would take effect if he never made it off that rooftop alive. Posthumous revenge. No, better than that – posthumous game.

Mycroft Holmes (reading Sherlock’s tweets): ā€œBack on Terra firma.ā€

Sherlock Holmes: Don’t read them out.

Mycroft Holmes: ā€œFree as a bird.ā€

Sherlock Holmes: God, you’re such a spoilsport.

Mycroft Holmes: Will you take this matter seriously, Sherlock?

Sherlock Holmes: I am! What makes you think I’m not taking it seriously?

Mycroft Holmes: ā€œ#OhWhatABeautifulMorningā€

Ā© 2025 Scattered Quotes

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