Robert Baratheon (to Ned): I never loved my brothers. A sad thing for a man to admit, but it's true. You were the brother I chose.
Cersei Lannister (to Robert): I should wear the armor and you the gown. (Robert slaps her) I shall wear this like a badge of honor.
Robert Baratheon: Wear it in silence or I'll honor you again.
Cersei Lannister: I felt something for you once, you know?
Robert Baratheon: I know.
Cersei Lannister: Even after we lost our first boy. For quite a while, actually. Was it ever possible for us? Was there ever a time, ever a moment?
Robert Baratheon: No. Does that make you feel better or worse?
Cersei Lannister: It doesn't make me feel anything.
Robert Baratheon: Sometimes I don't know what holds it together.
Cersei Lannister: Our marriage.
Robert Baratheon: Ah, so here we sit 17 years later, holding it all together. Don't you get tired?
Cersei Lannister: Every day.
Robert Baratheon: How long can hate hold a thing together?
Cersei Lannister: Well, 17 years is quite a long time.
Robert Baratheon (to Cersei): Our purpose died with the Mad King. Now we've got as many armies as there are men with gold in their purse. And everybody wants something different. Your father wants to own the world. Ned Stark wants to run away and bury his head in the snow.
Cersei Lannister: I'm sorry your marriage to Ned Stark didn't work out. You seemed so good together.
Robert Baratheon: I'm glad I could do something to make you happy.
Eddard Stark: You're too fat for your armor.
Robert Baratheon: Fat? Fat, is it? Is that how you speak to your King? (to Lannister boy): You heard the Hand. The King's too fat for his armor. Go find the breastplate stretcher - now!
Eddard Stark: "The breastplate stretcher"?
Robert Baratheon: How long before he figures it out?
Eddard Stark: Maybe you should have one invented.
Robert Baratheon: I swear if I weren't your King, you'd have hit me already.
Eddard Stark: The worst thing about your coronation... I'll never get to hit you again.