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Rajesh Koothrappali Quotes

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V. M. Koothrappali: How was the interview?

Rajesh Koothrappali: Uh, not so great. They asked me what my biggest weakness was, and 45 minutes later, they thanked me for coming.

V. M. Koothrappali: Son, don't take this the wrong way, but what's your problem?

Rajesh Koothrappali: I would tell you, but apparently it takes 45 minutes.
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Rajesh Koothrappali: Which breakup was that? Was that the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre?

Howard Wolowitz: No, no. This might've been during the Comic-Con Dump-A-Thon.

Penny Hofstadter: You have names for our breakups?

Rajesh Koothrappali: Well, they would really blur together if we didn't.
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Quote from The Big Bang Theory 11x09 - Howard Wolowitz: It crashed. It's been doing that lately. I think it's got a virus from all the... music I've been downloading. Rajesh Koothrappali: What kind of music? Howard Wolowitz: Mostly Asian. Some oldies.
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Quote from The Big Bang Theory 11x09 - Rajesh Koothrappali: Wow, I-I knew you were single back then, but that is a lot of porn... Howard Wolowitz: Science! A lot of science. Leonard Hofstadter: Wow, you were really into Asian science. (They're aware Bernadette can possibly hear them through baby monitor)
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Rajesh Koothrappali: I can't believe you haven't seen Avatar yet. What is wrong with you?

Leonard Hofstadter: Penny and I just started dating, and you know I don't like big crowds.

Rajesh Koothrappali: Because you're afraid Penny will leave you for someone in them?

Leonard Hofstadter: Terrified.
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Rajesh Koothrappali: Can we start the movie?

Howard Wolowitz: Before Sheldon gets here? Last time we did that, he didn't talk to us for a month. So do it!
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Rajesh Koothrappali: You know who'd make a great Professor Proton? Meryl Streep.

Howard Wolowitz: She's not a scientist.

Rajesh Koothrappali: Uh, then explain to me why she has chemistry with literally everyone.

Amy Farrah Fowler: It would be nice if they cast a woman.

Sheldon Cooper: Oh, you've already got Doctor Who and the Ghostbusters. Leave us something.
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Rajesh Koothrappali: You don't know what this little boy's gonna be like. Maybe he'll be rough and tumble, or maybe he'll be sweet and sensitive, or maybe he'll be all those things, like me.

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: You're rough and tumble?

Rajesh Koothrappali: You bet I am, b*tch. But I'm also sensitive and regret saying that.
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Quote from The Big Bang Theory 11x04 - Rajesh Koothrappali: I had three model rockets as a kid, and that was the largest space program in India.
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Howard Wolowitz: Now I'm having a son? I'll have to teach him how to play sports, and-and watch sports and-and-and-and-and-and...

Rajesh Koothrappali: He just ran out of man things. He's in trouble.

Leonard Hofstadter: It's okay. We're all here to help.

Sheldon Cooper: Yes. And this baby will have plenty of manly role models. Now, I'm certain that whatever Bernadette can't teach him, Penny can.

Leonard Hofstadter: Uh, she can pee into a bottle.

Penny Hofstadter: Mm-hmm. Anything with a neck wider than a nickel.
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Rajesh Koothrappali: Why am I buying them a gift? They have love. Screw them and their happiness. What do you have for someone who's bitter and alone?

Stuart: Literally everything.
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