V. M. Koothrappali: How was the interview?
Rajesh Koothrappali: Uh, not so great. They asked me what my biggest weakness was, and 45 minutes later, they thanked me for coming.
V. M. Koothrappali: Son, don't take this the wrong way, but what's your problem?
Rajesh Koothrappali: I would tell you, but apparently it takes 45 minutes.
Rajesh Koothrappali: You know who'd make a great Professor Proton? Meryl Streep.
Howard Wolowitz: She's not a scientist.
Rajesh Koothrappali: Uh, then explain to me why she has chemistry with literally everyone.
Amy Farrah Fowler: It would be nice if they cast a woman.
Sheldon Cooper: Oh, you've already got Doctor Who and the Ghostbusters. Leave us something.
Rajesh Koothrappali: You don't know what this little boy's gonna be like. Maybe he'll be rough and tumble, or maybe he'll be sweet and sensitive, or maybe he'll be all those things, like me.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: You're rough and tumble?
Rajesh Koothrappali: You bet I am, b*tch. But I'm also sensitive and regret saying that.
Howard Wolowitz: Now I'm having a son? I'll have to teach him how to play sports, and-and watch sports and-and-and-and-and-and...
Rajesh Koothrappali: He just ran out of man things. He's in trouble.
Leonard Hofstadter: It's okay. We're all here to help.
Sheldon Cooper: Yes. And this baby will have plenty of manly role models. Now, I'm certain that whatever Bernadette can't teach him, Penny can.
Leonard Hofstadter: Uh, she can pee into a bottle.
Penny Hofstadter: Mm-hmm. Anything with a neck wider than a nickel.