Peter III Quotes

Peter (to Catherine): My father used to say when a woman wants to kill you, you're in business.

(Leaves the room and locks Catherine inside...)

Georgina: How did the love fest go?

Peter: Bit angry about Leo, but the cake was a hit. Voltaire was boring, but she seemed excited, so on balance, a victory.

Catherine: Let me out, you f*cker!

Peter: She will calm.

Catherine: I'm going to f**king kill you!

Peter: Oh... She is a firecracker. I have never loved her more.

Peter: Catherine... I look at you on your twentieth birthday, a woman of substance. A woman par exemple. Of wise thought and deed, dedicated to the pursuit of a better Russia. A better world. Your lips, that speak so wisely, your eyes that see the world in a way no one else does. Your head fizzing with original ideas. Your heart filled with a powerful love for life. And hopefully for me. Happy birthday, my darling wife.

Catherine: You wrote that?

Peter: Volti helped me a little. But mostly me.

Catherine: Thank you. It was actually very touching.

Catherine: Last night, the Emperor talked in his sleep, and he cracked what seemed impossible.

Peter: I did? I did.

Catherine: For the thing is, you must both leave here with a victory. So we shall both have one. There are two battles in stasis. Instead of unleashing them, we both walk away. Russia claims a massive victory in Vyborg, you in Hango. We use the press and the pulpit to disseminate it. The first lie wins, I've come to understand. We will use that for good. Once you put out the story, it will be what people believe. Any sniping at it will be unpatriotic. We then announce the treaty. To each people, it looks like a win. We each agree not to contradict the other, and each country only refers to the battle they won, and ignores the other. The map reverts to its per‐war state, giving Russia back its land. We get the trade embargo lifted. We put this behind us. We are all winners.

Queen Agnes: Except for the 118 thousand dead.

Catherine: And 180 for us. We cannot bring them back. As the Emperor movingly mumbled in his sleep last night.

King Hugo: He said that?

Peter: I did. This is my plan. I believe it works for both of us. Do we have a deal?

King Hugo: We do.

Peter: Huzzah. Victory for all.

Peter: My spies tell me you have kept Leo as your lover.

Catherine: I did.

Peter: So?

Catherine: So?

Peter: "Thank you, husband. You were right after all, with your impeccable judgment, good looks, and massive c*ck."

Catherine: Thank you, husband. You were right after all, with your impeccable fudgement, good socks, and massive clock. Is that it?

Peter: No, it was... Close enough.

Peter: I think I was angry because no one has ever not liked me.

Catherine: Or at least, they're pretending to.

Peter: Hmm. Toosh.

Catherine: What?

Peter: Toosh.

Catherine: Do you mean touché?

Peter: What, is it not toosh?

Catherine: No. Touché.

Peter: See. That's great. How smart you are.