Lucifer Morningstar Quotes

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Lucifer Morningstar: Iā€™m not gonna hurt you, Justin, Iā€™m going to destroy you.

Mazikeen: Oh, this is so hot. Itā€™s like youā€™re punishing yourself.

Justin (Luciferā€™s imposter): You know who youā€™re messing with? Iā€™m Lucifer freaking Morningstar!

Lucifer Morningstar: Ohā€¦ Are you now?

Lucifer Morningstar: Mm, you checking for a wire or are you just pleased to see me?

Lucifer Morningstar: Do I get a code word? You know, for when you take her down. If so, might I suggest ā€œmonkey bottomsā€? ā€˜Cause trust me, I can work that into any sentence quite naturally.

Chloe Decker: Finally, some rain. Maybe someone up there is looking out for us.

Lucifer Morningstar: I can assure you, Heā€™s in no way meteorologically inclined. Apart from the whole Noah thing, and that was a one-off.

Chloe Decker: You step out of line one timeā€¦

Lucifer Morningstar: You can give me a right-good spanking, I promise.

Mazikeen: That was the LAPD.

Lucifer Morningstar: Ah, was Detective Decker calling to apologize? Unless it involves lingerie, I donā€™t accept.

Ty Huntley: Lucifer. Wake up. Something really bad happened.

Lucifer Morningstar: Well, I hope you enjoyed every minute of it.

Lucifer Morningstar (to Ty): Iā€™m fascinated. I mean, do you know how rare you are? A celebrity virgin in Los Angeles, and surrounded by temptation. I mean, you, Ty, are like a four-leaf clover and a unicorn made a baby. Without, uh, having sex, of course.

Chloe Decker: Was this some staged thing to get a confession out of Josh?

Lucifer Morningstar: Thatā€™s probably more plausible to you than my angelic brother slowing time while I pluck a bullet out of thin air, isnā€™t it?

Amenadiel: You asked me here to tell me that?

Lucifer Morningstar: No, no, no, I thought Iā€™d use you to remedy a situation that Iā€™ve mishandled, and annoy you in the process. Kill two birds with one prayer sort of thing, hmm?

Lucifer Morningstar: Heā€™s about to rat you out to the police. And he tricked you into taking the fall for a murder he committed. Discuss.

Chloe Decker: Are you coming or what?

Lucifer Morningstar: Oh, sorry, I thought this was the part where you leave me behind and say something like, ā€œLucifer, stay. Good devil.ā€

Trixie Espinoza: Lucifer!

Lucifer Morningstar: Ah, hello again, small human. (throws Barbie doll on the floor) Right, on you go, then. Go on, fetch away. Well, go on, then. Uh, is this too advanced for her?

Trixie Espinoza: Youā€™re funny.

Chloe Decker: You brought pot to a crime scene?

Lucifer Morningstar: I most certainly did not. I found it here.

Chloe Decker: You smoked evidence? So our only evidence is currently in your lungs?

Lucifer Morningstar: Uh, you really wanted to say ā€œup in smokeā€ then, didnā€™t you?

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