Joffrey Baratheon (to Tyrion): I am the king! I will punish you.
Tywin Lannister: Any man who must say, "I am the king" is no true king.
Tyrion Lannister: Oh, you blind, bloody fool. We've had vicious kings and we've had idiot kings, but I don't know if we've ever been cursed with a vicious idiot for a king. They threw a cow pie at you, so you decided to kill them all? They're starving, you fool. All because of a war you started.
Joffrey Baratheon: You're talking to a king!
Tyrion Lannister: (slaps Joffrey) And now I've struck a king. Did my hand fall from my wrist?
Tyrion Lannister: We looked for you on the battlefield. You were nowhere to be found.
Joffrey Baratheon: I've been here, ruling the kingdoms.
Tyrion Lannister: What a fine job you've done. (to Myrcella): Look at you. More beautiful than ever. (to Tommen): And you! You... you're going to be bigger than the hound, but much better looking.
Sansa Stark: If you still have any affection in your heart for me, please do me this kindness, Your Grace.
Joffrey Baratheon: Your sweet words have moved me. But your father has to confess. He has to confess and say that I'm the King... Or there'll be no mercy for him.
Sansa Stark: He will.
Joffrey Baratheon: Will you forgive me for my rudeness?
Sansa Stark: There's nothing to forgive.
Joffrey Baratheon: You're My Lady. One day we'll be married in the throne room. Lords and ladies from all over the Seven Kingdoms will come, from the last hearth in the North to the Salt Shore in the South, and you will be Queen over all of them. I'll never disrespect you again. I'll never be cruel to you again. Do you understand me? You're My Lady now, from this day until my last day.
Cersei Lannister: The North cannot be held... not by an outsider. It's too big and too wild. And when the winter comes, the Seven Gods together couldn't save you and your royal army. A good King knows when to save his strength... And when to destroy his enemies.
Joffrey Baratheon: So you agree... The Starks are enemies?
Cersei Lannister: Everyone who isn't us is an enemy.