60+ Best 'Joey Tribbiani' Quotes from Friends (TV Series) | Page 4 of 5

(The gang is looking at Geller family old photos...)

Joey Tribbiani: Look, look, look! I got Monica naked!

Ross Geller: No, no, that would be me again. I'm just trying something.

Phoebe Buffay: I'm always the last to know.

Monica Geller: You are not. We tell you stuff.

Phoebe Buffay: I was the last one to know when Chandler got bit by the peacock. I was the last to know you had a crush on Joey, when he was moving in.

Joey Tribbiani: What?

Phoebe Buffay: Oh... Looks like I was second to last.

Joey Tribbiani: It's never gonna happen...

Ross Geller: What?

Joey Tribbiani: You and Rachel.

Ross Geller: What? Me and Ra? Why not?

Joey Tribbiani: Because you waited too long to make your move... and now you're in the friendzone.

Ross Geller: No no no. I'm not in the zone.

Joey Tribbiani: No, Ross. You're mayor of the zone.

Ross Geller: Look, I'm taking my time, all right? I'm laying the groundwork. Every day I get a just little bit closer to a...

Joey Tribbiani: Priesthood!

Joey Tribbiani: My weirdest place would have to be... the women's room on the second floor of the New York City Public Library.

Monica Geller: Oh, my God! What were you doing in a library?

Ross Geller: And officiating at tonight's blackout is Rabbi Tribbiani.

Joey Tribbiani: Chandler's old roommate was Jewish. These are our only candles we have. So happy Hanukkah everyone!

Director: Hey, butt guy, what are you doing?

Joey Tribbiani: I'm showering.

Director: No, that was clenching.

Joey Tribbiani: The way I see it, the guy's upset here, you know? His wife's dead, his brother's missing. I think his butt would be angry here.

Director: I think his butt would like to get the shot before lunch.

Ross Geller: Come on. Seriously, Joey, what's the part?

(Joey mumbles something)

Rachel Green: You're.... What?

Joey Tribbiani: I'm his butt double, okay? I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then... I'm his butt.

Monica Geller: Oh, my God!

Joey Tribbiani: Come on, you guys. It's a real movie and Al Pacino's in it, that's big!

Chandler Bing: It's terrific. You deserve this. After years of struggling you've cracked your way into show business.

Monica Geller: So you guys don't mind going out with someone else who's going out with someone else?

Joey Tribbiani: I couldn't do it.

Monica Geller: Good for you, Joey.

Joey Tribbiani: When I'm with a woman, I need to know... that I'm going out with more people than she is.

Ross Geller: Today's the day Carol and I first... consummated our... physical relationship. Sex.

Joey Tribbiani: You told your sister that?

Ross Geller: Believe me, I told everyone. I better pass on the game. I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.

Joey Tribbiani: The hell with hockey! Let's all do that!

Monica Geller: Hey, Joey. What would you do if you were omnipotent?

Joey Tribbiani: Probably kill myself.

Monica Geller: Excuse me?

Joey Tribbiani: Hey, If little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live.

Ross Geller: Joey, om- nipotent.

Joey Tribbiani: You are? Ross, I'm sorry. I had no idea. I thought it was a theoretical question.

(Ross is showing the group video from ultrasound...)

Ross Geller: Well, isn't that amazing?

Joey Tribbiani: What are we supposed to be seeing here?

Chandler Bing: I don't know, but I think it's about to attack the Enterprise.

Phoebe Buffay: You know, if you tilt your head to the left and relax your eyes... it kind of looks like an old potato.

Ross Geller: Then don't do that, all right?

Joey Tribbiani: Folks are really that bad?

Ross Geller: Well, you know, these people are pros. They know what they're doing. They take their time. They get the job done.

Monica Geller: They say that you can't change your parents. Boy, if you could, I'd want yours (points at Ross).

Rachel Green: Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.

Monica Geller: Absolutely.

Chandler Bing: I think for us, kissing's an opening act like the standup comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.

Ross Geller: Yeah. And it's not that we don't like the comedian. It's just that that's not why we bought the ticket.

Chandler Bing: See, the problem is though after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again. We're in the car, fighting traffic, basically just trying to stay awake.

Rachel Green: Yeah, well... Word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you'll find yourself sitting at home listening to that album alone.

Joey Tribbiani (to Ross): Are we still talking about sex?

Quote from Friends 3x21 - Joey Tribbiani: What you doing? Chandler Bing: Having a swim. Joey Tribbiani: What about the chick? Chandler Bing: Chicks don't swim. Joey Tribbiani: Are you sure? Chandler Bing: I don't know. Should we try? Joey Tribbiani: Sure. Chandler Bing: See, I told you. They don't swim. Joey Tribbiani: Wait, give him a minute. Chandler Bing: No! It's okay. It's okay, baby, baby, baby.

Chandler Bing: So then I took her to the shelter, and you know what I found out? If they can't find a home for her, they kill her! I'm not gonna let that happen to little Yasmine.

Joey Tribbiani: Okay, good, good, good, because I was kind of having second thoughts too.

Chandler Bing: Okay, and it's not just chicks. It's all kinds of other animals.

Joey Tribbiani: That's horrible. You did the right thing, man.

Chandler Bing: Thanks. I'm glad you see it that way.

(The Duck appears)

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