Howard Wolowitz Quotes

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Leonard Hofstadter: Isn't Halley's birthday the same as Amy's?

Howard Wolowitz: Yeah, but we're not doing anything big 'cause she's one, Bernadette's on bed rest, and I'm lazy.

Howard Wolowitz: You and Amy having fun planning your wedding?

Sheldon Cooper: We're employing a mathematical approach called decision theory, so, heck, yeah.

Leonard Hofstadter: Heck, yeah? Looks like someone need to put a dollar in the almost-swear jar.

Rajesh Koothrappali: Which breakup was that? Was that the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre?

Howard Wolowitz: No, no. This might've been during the Comic-Con Dump-A-Thon.

Penny Hofstadter: You have names for our breakups?

Rajesh Koothrappali: Well, they would really blur together if we didn't.

Howard Wolowitz: Hey, Bernie, you mind if I run to Leonard's and...

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Get a laptop full of money? Why are you still here?! Go, go, go!

Rajesh Koothrappali: Can we start the movie?

Howard Wolowitz: Before Sheldon gets here? Last time we did that, he didn't talk to us for a month. So do it!

Rajesh Koothrappali: You know who'd make a great Professor Proton? Meryl Streep.

Howard Wolowitz: She's not a scientist.

Rajesh Koothrappali: Uh, then explain to me why she has chemistry with literally everyone.

Amy Farrah Fowler: It would be nice if they cast a woman.

Sheldon Cooper: Oh, you've already got Doctor Who and the Ghostbusters. Leave us something.

Howard Wolowitz: Based on that ring on your finger, I'd say you're pretty good at controlling robots.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Careful, that's my fiancé you're talking about, and I can program him to hurt you.

Howard Wolowitz: Now I'm having a son? I'll have to teach him how to play sports, and-and watch sports and-and-and-and-and-and...

Rajesh Koothrappali: He just ran out of man things. He's in trouble.

Leonard Hofstadter: It's okay. We're all here to help.

Sheldon Cooper: Yes. And this baby will have plenty of manly role models. Now, I'm certain that whatever Bernadette can't teach him, Penny can.

Leonard Hofstadter: Uh, she can pee into a bottle.

Penny Hofstadter: Mm-hmm. Anything with a neck wider than a nickel.

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: I just met this woman. Why don't I wait a little and get to know her? Maybe I won't like her, and then I'd be happy to ruin her life with Stuart or Raj.

Howard Wolowitz: That's all I ask.

Leonard Hofstadter: Physics is all we're cut out for. I mean, if we weren't physicists, w-what would we be?

Howard Wolowitz: I don't know. Popular?

Sheldon Cooper (about Leonard): He publicly maligned the love of my life, Lady Physics.

Howard Wolowitz: You might not want to mention that to Lady Fiancée.

Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: We realized that it's a gift, in the sense that we didn't ask for it, and we may not have chosen it...

Howard Wolowitz: And we already have one.

Penny Hofstadter: You know, whenever I find a top I like, I always go back and get a second one in a different color. (pause) Which I hope is not the case with your baby.

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