Horace Slughorn: Good God. Dear fellow, however did you manage to kill it?
Rubeus Hagrid: Kill it? Me oldest friend, he was.
Horace Slughorn: I'm so sorry, I didn't...
Rubeus Hagrid: Don't worry yourself, you're not alone. Seriously misunderstood creatures, spiders are. It's the eyes, I reckon. They unnerve some folk.
Harry Potter: Not to mention the pincers.
Rubeus Hagrid: Yeah, I reckon that too.
Ron Weasley: What do you suppose Dean sees in her? Ginny?
Harry Potter: Well, what does she see in him?
Ron Weasley: Dean? He's brilliant.
Harry Potter: You called him a slick git not five hours ago.
Ron Weasley: Yeah, well, he was running his hands all over my sister, wasn't he? Something snaps, and you've gotta hate him, you know? On principle.
Harry Potter: I suppose.
Ron Weasley: So, what is it he sees in her?
Harry Potter: I don't know. She's smart, funny. Attractive.
Ron Weasley: Attractive?
Harry Potter: You know, she's got nice skin.
Ron Weasley: Skin? Dean dates my sister because of her skin?
Harry Potter: Well, no, I mean, I'm just saying it could be a contributing factor.
Ron Weasley: Hermione's got nice skin. Wouldn't you say? As skin goes, I mean.
Harry Potter: I've never really thought about it. But, I suppose, yeah. Very nice.
Harry Potter: It was Malfoy.
Minerva McGonagall: That is a very serious accusation, Potter.
Severus Snape: Indeed. Your evidence?
Harry Potter: I just know.
Severus Snape: You just... know. You astonish with your gifts, Potter. Gifts mere mortals can only dream of possessing. How grand it must be to be the Chosen One.
(Harry and Ron are enjoying watching the students hurrying up to their classes while they have a free period...)
Minerva McGonagall: Potter.
Harry Potter (to Ron): Oh, this can't be good.
Minerva McGonagall: Enjoying ourselves, are we?
Harry Potter: I had a free period this morning, professor.
Minerva McGonagall: So I noticed. I would think you would want to fill it with Potions. Or is it no longer your ambition to become an Auror?
Harry Potter: It was, but I was told I had to get an "Outstanding" in my O.W.L.
Minerva McGonagall: So you did, when Professor Snape was teaching Potions. However, Professor Slughorn is perfectly happy to accept N.E.W.T.s students with "Exceeds Expectations."
Harry Potter: Brilliant. Um... Well, I'll head there straightaway.
Minerva McGonagall: Oh, good, good. Potter, take Weasley with you. He looks far too happy over there.
Luna Lovegood: Would you like me to fix it for you? Personally, I think you look a bit more devil-may-care this way but it's up to you.
Harry Potter: Well, have you ever fixed a nose before?
Luna Lovegood: No, but I've done several toes, and how different are they, really?
Harry Potter: Um... Okay, yeah. Give it a go.
Luna Lovegood: Episkey.
Harry Potter: Ah! How do I look?
Luna Lovegood: Exceptionally ordinary.
Harry Potter: Brilliant.
Harry Potter: But this is Hogwarts we're talking about. It's Dumbledore. What could be safer?
Hermione Granger: There's been a lot of talk recently that... Dumbledore's got a bit old.
Harry Potter: Rubbish! Well, he's only... What is he?
Ron Weasley: Hundred and fifty? Give or take a few years.
(They all laugh)