Sheldon Cooper: What about the truth?
George Cooper Jr.: What about it?
Sheldon Cooper: It's supposed to set us free.
George Cooper Jr.: Who told you that?
Sheldon Cooper: The Bible.
George Cooper Jr.: Since when do you care about what's in the Bible?
Sheldon Cooper: When it helps me win an argument.
Sheldon Cooper (narrative): I didn't realize until years later that my father was only asking questions about lightning and thunder to cheer me up. In fact, he would often pretend to be dumb just to make me feel better.
George Cooper Jr.: Looks like rain.
Sheldon Cooper (narrative): My brother, on the other hand, didn't have to pretend.
Sheldon Cooper: Statistically, always punting on fourth down makes no sense.
George Cooper Jr.: Statistically, you're a dumb-ass.
Sheldon Cooper: When the Aggies give up the ball on their own fiveyard line, the opposing team has a 92% chance of scoring. When they punt from deep in their own territory, the other team still has a 77% chance of scoring. But since they convert on fourth down 50% of the time, the math says they should never punt again.
Meemaw (to Mary): Okay, you can tell me, who's his real daddy?