General Velementov Quotes

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Velementov: There's an old Russian proverb. A million Russians e-each with one thread... many shirts. Let's, let's wake some f**kers up.

Catherine: Are you drunk?

Velementov: It's midnight, we're all drunk.

Catherine: What do they want?

Velementov: I don't know. Any time one of them talks, the others start yelling. I made them put their pistols in a bucket.

Catherine: It's times like these I am so glad you are my key military strategist.

Velementov: I have a special vodka given to me by Peter the Great on the day he made me a General.

Catherine: Which you have opened in advance.

Velementov: Uh, taste testing in case it's poisoned. I lay my life before my Empress.

Velementov: I will not launch a pointless assault. They are trapped, but they are also heavily fortified on both flanks. The central path is a death trap.

Catherine: You can't get in?

Velementov: In layman's terms.

Catherine: Laywoman's.

Velementov: Indeed. But yes, he is trapped.

(Children are playing with a head of a dead man...)

Catherine: Do not demean our nation and yourselves by losing sight of the preciousness of life, yours and his. Ask yourself, what can I make of my life? What intrinsic good can I do that elevates my humanity?

Girl: I don't know what a lot of that means.

Velementov: "Don't be little sh*ts" is what it means.

Velementov: We can do it strategically. To avoid so much bloodshed.

Peter: I do not wish to avoid bloodshed. What part of that plan do you not understand, you roly‐poly f**khead? (Velementov slaps him) What the‐?

Velementov: A mosquito on your face. I do not want it to infect royal blood.

Peter: Right. Thanks.

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