Elena Gilbert (narration): Dear diary. I'm not a believer. People are born, they grow old, and then they die. That's the world we live in. There's no magic, no mysticism, no immortality. There is nothing that defies rational thought. People are supposed to be who they say they are, and not lie... or hide their true selves. It's not possible. I'm not a believer. I can't be. But how can I deny what's right in front of me? Someone who never grows old. Never gets hurt. Someone who changes in ways that can't be explained. Girls bitten. Bodies drained of blood.
(Elena and Damon are talking about Katherine...)
Elena Gilbert: What was she like?
Damon Salvatore: She was beautiful. A lot like you in that department. She was also very complicated and selfish, and at times not very kind... but very sexy and seductive.
Elena Gilbert: So which one of you dated her first?
Damon Salvatore: Nicely deduced. Ask Stefan. I'm sure his answer differs from mine.
Elena Gilbert: I realized that I'd just be writing things that I should be telling you.
Stefan Salvatore: What would you write?
Elena Gilbert: I would write: "Dear diary, today I convinced myself that it's okay to give up. Don't take risks. Stick with the status quo, no drama. Now is just not the time." But my reasons aren't reasons, they're excuses. All I'm doing is hiding from the truth. And the truth is that... I'm scared, Stefan. I'm scared that if I let myself be happy for even one moment... that the world's just gonna come crashing down... and I don't know if I can survive that.
Stefan Salvatore: Do you wanna know what I would write? "I met a girl. We talked. It was epic. Then the sun came up and reality set in." Well, this is reality. Right here.
Caroline Forbes: You and Stefan talked all night. There was no sloppy first kiss, or touchy-feely of any kind?
Elena Gilbert: Nope, we didn't go there.
Caroline Forbes: Not even a handshake? I mean, Elena, we are your friends. Okay? You are supposed to share the smut.
Elena Gilbert: We just talked for hours.
Caroline Forbes: What is with the blockage? Just jump his bones already. Okay, it's easy. Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, sex.
Elena Gilbert: Profound.
Elena Gilbert (narration): Dear diary... I couldn't have been more wrong. I thought that I could smile and nod my way through it. Pretend like it would all be okay.
Stefan Salvatore (narration): I had a plan. I wanted to change who I was. Create a life as someone new. Someone without the past.
Elena: Without the pain.
Both: Someone alive.
Elena: But it's not that easy. The bad things stay with you.
Stefan: They follow you. You can't escape them... as much as you want to.
Elena: All you can do is be ready for the good... so when it comes, you invite it in because you need it. I need it.
Elena Gilbert (narration): Dear diary, today will be different. It has to be. I will smile, and it will be believable. My smile will say: "I'm fine, thank you. Yes, I feel much better." I will no longer be the sad little girl who lost her parents. I will start fresh, be someone new. It's the only way I'll make it through.