Damon Salvatore: You knew Katherine wasn't there.
Annabelle Zhu: You wouldn't have helped me. (Damon attacks Pearl) No! No!
Damon Salvatore: Why do you get a happy ending?
Annabelle Zhu: Please. You wouldn't have helped me.
Damon Salvatore: Why do you get it and I don't?
Pearl Zhu: The guard. The one at the church who locked us in. She promised to turn him. He was obsessed with her. She had him under her spell... like everybody else. He let her go.
Annabelle Zhu: Last I saw her... was Chicago... 1983. She knew where you were, Damon. She didn't care. Sorry.
Bonnie Bennett: What do you want from me?
Damon Salvatore: I think we need a fresh start.
Bonnie Bennett: You tried to kill me.
Damon Salvatore: But I didn't. And if I wanted to, I would have. Does that not count for anything?
Bonnie Bennett: You know I can start fires with my mind. Fires kill vampires, right? Just stay the hell away from me.
Elena Gilbert: So why did you bring me with you?
Damon Salvatore: Well, you're not the worst company in the world, Elena. You should give yourself more credit.
Elena Gilbert: Seriously?
Damon Salvatore: I don't know, you were there in the road... all damsel-in-distress-like. And I knew it would piss off Stefan. And you're not the worst company in the world, Elena.
Stefan Salvatore: Now, what do you want with Katherine's crystal?
Damon Salvatore: She didn't tell you?
Stefan Salvatore: We had other things on our mind.
Damon Salvatore: I could rip your heart out and not think twice about it.
Stefan Salvatore: Yeah. I've heard that before.
Damon Salvatore: I have a bigger surprise, Stefan. I'm gonna bring her back.
Stefan Salvatore: So, Stefan... you know, I've been thinking. I think we should start over. Give this brother thing another chance. We used to do it, oh, so well once upon a time.
Damon Salvatore: I don't, Damon. I can't trust you to be a nice guy. You kill everybody and you're so mean. You're so mean and... You're really hard to imitate and then I have to go to that lesser place.
Damon Salvatore: I got the town off our back. It was for the greater good. But I'm sorry. And to prove it, I'm not gonna feed on a human for at least a week. I'll adopt the Stefan diet. Only nothing with feathers.
Stefan Salvatore: Because I realize that killing your closest and oldest friend is beyond evil and yet somehow it's worthy of humor.
Damon Salvatore: Are you mimicking me?
Stefan Salvatore: Yes, Stefan. Now that the secret society of vampire-haters is off our back I can go back to my routine of "how can I destroy Stefan's life this week?"
Damon Salvatore: And I can go back to sulking and Elena longing and forehead brooding. This is fun. I like this.
Stefan Salvatore: And I will finally reveal the ulterior motive behind my evil and diabolical return to Mystic Falls.
Damon Salvatore: Yeah, I'm done. This is so like you, Damon. Always have to have the last word.
(After Damon kills Lexi...)
Damon Salvatore: Told you I'd take care of it. (Stefan attacks Damon) Come on, I did this for you, to get them off our trail.
Stefan Salvatore: You never do anything for anyone but yourself.
(Stefan stabs Damon in the stomach with a wooden stake)
Damon Salvatore: You missed.
Stefan Salvatore: No. You saved my life, I'm sparing yours. We're even. And now we're done.
Damon Salvatore: Stefan smiles. Alert the media.
Elena Gilbert: You haven't given him a lot of reasons to be happy lately.
Damon Salvatore: No, you're right. Poor Stefan. Persecuted throughout eternity by his depraved brother. Does it get tiring, being so righteous?
Elena Gilbert: It flares up in the presence of psychopaths.
Damon Salvatore: Ouch. Well, consider this psychopath's feelings hurt.