The Mortal Instruments Quotes

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Izzy Lightwood: How did you get Magnus to let Jace leave?

Clary Fairchild: Traded him for Alec.

(Isabelle looks mildly alarmed.)

Izzy Lightwood: Not permanently?

Jace Herondale: No. Just for a few hours. Unless I don't come back. In which case, maybe he does get to keep Alec. Think of it as a lease with an option to buy.

Izzy Lightwood: Mom and Dad won't be pleased if they find out.

Simon Lewis: That you freed a possible criminal by trading away your brother to a warlock who looks like a gay Sonic the Hedgehog and dresses like the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? No, probably not.

Alec Lightwood: Isabelle says the Queen of the Seelie Court has requested an audience with us.

Magnus Bane: Sure. And Madonna wants me as a backup dancer on her next world tour.

Alec Lightwood: Who's Madonna?

Clary Fairchild: Who's the Queen of the Seelie Court?

(Clary spills hot coffee at her hand...)

Simon Lewis: Let me see.

Clary Fairchild: It's okay. No big deal.

(Simon kisses her hand...)

Simon Lewis: All better now.

Jace Herondale: You're a Shadowhunter. You know how to deal with injuries. (He slides his stele across the table toward her.) Use it.

Clary Fairchild: No. (pushes the stele back across the table at him)

Jace Herondale: Clary...

Simon Lewis: She said she doesn't want it. Ha-ha.

Jace Herondale: Ha-ha? That's your comeback?

(Alec comes in...)

Alec Lightwood: What's going on?

Magnus Bane: We seem to be trapped in an episode of One Life to Waste. It's all very dull.

(Magnus is standing by the window thinking out loud...)

Magnus Bane: Blood. I had a dream two nights ago. I saw a city all of blood, with towers made of bone, and blood ran in the streets like water.

Simon Lewis: Is standing by the window muttering about blood something he does all the time?

Jace Herondale: No, sometimes he sits on the couch and does it.

Magnus Bane: Hello, hello. Alec, my darling. Clary. And rat-boy. To what do I owe the pleasure?

Clary Fairchild: We came to see Jace. Is he all right?

Magnus Bane: I don't know. Does he normally just lie on the floor like that without moving?

Alec Lightwood: What..! (Magnus laughs) That's not funny.

Magnus Bane: You're so easy to tease. And yes, your friend is just fine. Well, except that he keeps putting all my things away and trying to clean up. Now I can't find anything. He's compulsive.

(Jace is lying unconscious on the ground...)

Magnus Bane: Is he dead? He looks dead.

Maryse Lightwood: No, he's not dead.

Magnus Bane: Have you checked? I could kick him if you want.

Imogen Herondale: You are arrogant. As well as intolerant. Did your father teach you to behave this way?

Jace: Not to him.

Imogen Herondale: Then you're aping him. Valentine was one of the most arrogant and disrespectful men I've ever met. I suppose he brought you up to be just like him.

Jace: Yes, I was trained to be an evil mastermind from a young age. Pulling the wings off flies, poisoning the earth's water supply—I was covering that stuff in kindergarten. I guess we're all just lucky my father faked his own death before he got to the raping and pillaging part of my education, or no one would be safe.

Imogen Herondale: Look at me, boy. You will call me Inquisitor. You will not call me anything else. Do you understand?

Jace: My name is Jace. Not boy. Jace Wayland.

Imogen Herondale: You have no right to the name of Wayland. You are Jonathan Morgenstern. To claim the name of Wayland makes you a liar. Just like your father.

Jace: Actually, I prefer to think that I'm a liar in a way that's uniquely my own.

Imogen Herondale: I see. You are intolerant of authority, just as your father was. Like the angel whose name you both bear. Lucifer was rewarded for his rebellion when God cast him into the pits of hell. If you defy my authority, I can promise that you will envy him his fate.

Luke Garroway (to Clary): There is something you should have. Something every Shadowhunter should have.

Simon Lewis: An obnoxious, arrogant attitude?

Luke Garroway: A stele. Every Shadowhunter should have a stele.

Clary Fairchild: Do you have one?

(Luke brings out a stele and puts it on the table...)

Clary Fairchild: Pretty.

Luke Garroway: I'm glad you think so, because I want you to have it.

Clary Fairchild: Have it? But it's yours, isn't it?

Luke Garroway: This was your mother's. She didn't want to keep it

at the apartment in case you happened across it, so she asked me to hold

on to it for her.

(Clary picks up the stele...)

Clary Fairchild: I can have it?

Luke Garroway: Sure. It's an old model, of course, almost twenty years out of date. They may have refined the designs since. Still, it's reliable enough.

(There is no pizza left and Luke finds out Simon ate most of it...)

Simon Lewis: Does this mean you're going to wolf out and eat me?

Luke Garroway: Certainly not. You would be stringy and hard to digest.

Simon Lewis: But kosher.

Luke Garroway: I'll be sure to point any Jewish lycanthropes your way.

Simon Lewis: It's really weird thinking of Luke as someone who was once a Shadowhunter. Weirder than it is thinking of him as a werewolf.

Clary Fairchild: Really? Why?

Simon Lewis: I've heard of werewolves before. They're sort of a known element. So he turns into a wolf once a month, so what. But the Shadowhunter thing—they're like a cult.

Clary Fairchild: They're not like a cult.

Simon Lewis: Sure they are. Shadowhunting is their whole lives. And they look down on everyone else. They call us mundanes. Like they're not human beings. They're not friends with ordinary people, they don't go to the same places, they don't know the same jokes, they think they're above us.

Clary Fairchild (to Maryse): Family is more than blood. Valentine isn't my father. Luke is. Just like Alec and Max and Isabelle are Jace's family. If you try to tear him out of your family, you'll leave a wound that won't ever heal.

Maryse Lightwood: Before the battle, Valentine had drawn me aside, told me that out of all the Circle, I was the one he trusted most, his closest lieutenant. When the Clave questioned us I found out he'd said the same thing to everyone.

Luke Garroway: Affection doesn't work like that. You can't turn it off, like a tap. Especially if you're a parent.

Jace Herondale: They're not really my parents.

Luke Garroway: There's more to parentage than blood. They've been your parents for seven years in all the ways that matter. Maryse is just hurt.

Jace Herondale: Hurt? She's hurt?

Luke Garroway: She loved Valentine, remember. As we all did. He hurt her badly. She doesn't want his son to do the same. She worries you've lied to them. That the person she thought you were all these years was a ruse, a trick. You have to reassure her.

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