Loki Quotes

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Loki: We have a saying in Asgard, "Where there are wolf's ears, wolf's teeth are near." It means to be aware of your surroundings. Which is absurd, because my people are, by nature, gullible fools. A trait that I, the God of Mischief, exploited time and time again simply by listening. My teeth were sharp, but my ears even sharper.

Mobius: Did you watch any of the training videos you were supposed to?

Loki: Well, as many as I could stand. Your TVA propaganda is exhausting.

TVA Soldier: And what do these do?

Loki: Reset charges prune the affected radius of a branched timeline, allowing time to heal all its wounds. Which sounds like a nice way of saying disintegrate everything in its vicinity.

Mobius: He's on it.

Loki: I watched the videos. I mean, some of them.

Mobius: We're looking for a Loki. A variation of this guy. A type we should all be very familiar with, because the TVA has pruned a lotta these guys, almost more than any other Variant. And no two are alike. Slight differences in appearances, or not so slight. Different powers, although, powers, generally include shape-shifting, illusion-projection, and my favorite...

Loki: Duplication-casting.

Mobius: Illusion-projection.

Loki: No, they're two completely different powers actually.

Mobius: How?

Loki: Illusion-projection involves depicting a detailed image from outside oneself, which is perceptible in the external world, whereas duplication-casting entails recreating an exact facsimile of one's own body in its present circumstance, which acts as a true holographic mirror of its molecular structure. But you already knew that.

Mobius: Okay, take a breath. Noted. We're gonna break into two teams, including myself and Professor Loki.

Hunter B-15: We've grabbed enough temporal aura to know it's our Loki Variant. But which kind of Loki, remains unknown.

Loki: They're the lesser kind, to be clear.

Mobius: Listen, I can't offer you salvation, but maybe I can offer you something better. A fugitive Variant's been killing our Minutemen.

Loki: And you need the God of Mischief to help you stop him?

Mobius: That's right.

Loki: Why me?

Mobius: The Variant we're hunting is... you.

Loki: I beg your pardon?

Loki: I don't enjoy hurting people. I... I don't enjoy it. I do it because I have to, because I've had to.

Mobius: Okay, explain that to me.

Loki: Because it's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear.

Mobius: A desperate play for control. You do know yourself.

Loki: A villain.

Mobius: That's not how I see it.

Loki: What? Infinity Stones? How... How do you have these?

Casey: Oh, We actually get a lot of those. Yeah. Some of the guys use them as paperweights. Some of 'em.

Loki (looks around): Is this the greatest power in the universe?

Loki: Give me the Tesseract, or I'll gut you like a fish, Casey.

Casey: What's a fish? (Loki shushes him, Casey whispers): What's a fish?

Loki: How do you not know what a fish is?

Casey: I've lived my entire life behind a desk.

Loki: Well, what difference does it make?

Casey: I wanna know exactly what I'm being threatened with before I comply.

Loki: Death, Casey. Violent, painful death.

Casey: Okay, okay. I comply, I comply. I comply. Jeez!

Loki: I was just standing up to make a point.

Mobius: I'm sorry, go ahead.

Loki: It won't be as meaningful now.

Mobius: Okay, well, stay seated.

Loki: I'll do what I want to do!

Mobius: I'm wondering why does someone with so much range just wanna rule?

Loki: I would've made it easy for them.

Mobius: People like easy.

Loki: The first and most oppressive lie ever uttered was the song of freedom.

Mobius: How's that one go?

Loki: For nearly every living thing, choice breeds shame and uncertainty and regret. There's a fork in every road, yet the wrong path always taken.

Mobius: Good. Yeah. You said "nearly every living thing," so I'm guessing you don't fall into that category?

(Loki laughs...)

Loki: Are you taking me somewhere to kill me?

Mobius: No. That's where you just were. I'm taking you some place to talk.

Loki: I don't like to talk.

Mobius: But you do like to lie, which you just did. Because we both know you love to talk. Talkie-talkie.

Ravonna Renslayer: Laufeyson. Variant L1130, AKA Loki Laufeyson, is charged with sequence violation 7-20-89. How do you plead?

Loki: Madam, a god doesn't plead. This has been a very enjoyable pantomime, but I'd like to go home now.

Ravonna Renslayer: Are you guilty or not guilty, sir?

Loki: Guilty of being the God of Mischief? Yes. Guilty of finding all this incredibly tedious? Yes. Guilty of a crime against the Sacred Timeline? Absolutely not, you have the wrong person.

Paperwork Clerk: Please sign to verify this is everything you've ever said.

(Moves pile of papers closer to Loki...)

Loki: What?

(A paper prints out with the sentence "What?" on it and the clerk adds it to the pile...)

Paperwork Clerk: Sign this, too.

Loki: Oh, this is absurd.

(And another papers prints out...)

Paperwork Clerk: And this.

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