Harry Potter: Professor, we have some information for you. Are you going somewhere?
Gilderoy Lockhart: Well, yes. Urgent call. Unavoidable. Got to go.
Ron Weasley: What about my sister?
Gilderoy Lockhart: Well... As to that, most unfortunate. No one regrets more than I.
Ron Weasley: You're the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. You can't go now.
Gilderoy Lockhart: I must say, when I took the job, there was nothing in the description about...
Harry Potter: You're running away? After all you did in your books?
Gilderoy Lockhart: Books can be misleading.
Harry Potter: You wrote them.
Gilderoy Lockhart: My dear boy, use your common sense. My books wouldn't have sold half as well if people didn't think I'd done those things.
Harry Potter: You're a fraud. You've been taking credit for what other wizards have done.
Ron Weasley: Is there anything you can do?
Gilderoy Lockhart: Yes, now you mention it. I'm rather gifted with Memory Charms. Otherwise, all those wizards would have gone blabbing. I'd never have sold another book. In fact, I'm going to have to do the same to you.
Severus Snape: A girl has been snatched by the monster, Lockhart. Your moment has come at last.
Gilderoy Lockhart: My moment?
Severus Snape: Weren't you saying just last night... that you've known all along where the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets is?
Minerva McGonagall: That's settled. We'll leave you to deal with the monster, Gilderoy. Your skills, after all, are legend.
Gilderoy Lockhart: Very well. I'll just be in my office getting... Getting ready.
Harry Potter: You heard what Hagrid said. "Follow the spiders."
Ron Weasley: They're heading to the Dark Forest. Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies"?
Moaning Myrtle: Here I am, minding my own business... and someone thinks it's funny to throw a book at me.
Ron Weasley: But it can't hurt if someone throws something at you. I mean, it'll just go right through you.
Moaning Myrtle: Sure! Let's all throw books at Myrtle because she can't feel it. Ten points if you get it through her stomach! Fifty points if it goes through her head!
Harry Potter: But who threw it at you, anyway?
Moaning Myrtle: I don't know. I didn't see them. I was just sitting in the U-bend, thinking about death... and it fell through the top of my head.
Rubeus Hagrid: Professor Dumbledore, sir, it wasn't Harry.
Albus Dumbledore: Hagrid...
Rubeus Hagrid: I'd be prepared to swear it in front of the Ministry.
Albus Dumbledore: Hagrid. Relax. I do not believe... that Harry attacked anyone.
Rubeus Hagrid: Of course you don't. Oh. Right. Well, I'll... I'll just wait outside, then.
The sorting hat: Bee in your bonnet, Potter?
Harry Potter: I was just wondering if you put me in the right house.
The sorting hat: Yes. You were particularly difficult to place. But I stand by what I said last year. You would have done well in Slytherin.
Harry Potter: You're wrong.
Dobby: Terrible things are about to happen at Hogwarts. Harry Potter must not stay here... now that history is to repeat itself.
Harry Potter: Repeat itself? You mean this has happened before?
Dobby: I shouldn't have said that. Bad Dobby! Bad!
Harry Potter: Stop it! Stop it, Dobby! Tell me. When did this happen before? Who's doing it now?
Dobby: Dobby cannot say, sir. Dobby only wants Harry Potter to be safe.
Harry Potter: You made that Bludger chase after me?
Dobby: Dobby feels most aggrieved, sir. Dobby had to iron his hands.
Harry Potter: You better clear off before my bones come back, or I might strangle you.
Dobby: Dobby is used to death threats, sir. Dobby gets them five times a day at home.
Harry Potter: I don't suppose you could tell me why you're trying to kill me?
Dobby: Not kill you, sir. Never kill you.
Harry Potter: I think my arm is broken.
Gilderoy Lockhart: Not to worry. I will fix that arm of yours straightaway.
Harry Potter: No. Not you.
Gilderoy Lockhart: Boy doesn't know what he's saying. This won't hurt a bit. Brackium Emendo! (Lockhart makes Harry's bones disappear) Yes, well, that can sometimes happen... but the point is... you can no longer feel any pain, and, very clearly, the bones are not broken.
Rubeus Hagrid: Broken? There's no bones left.
Gilderoy Lockhart: Much more flexible, though.
Hermione Granger: Professor... I was wondering if you could tell us about the Chamber of Secrets.
Minerva McGonagall: Very well. You all know, of course... that Hogwarts was founded over a thousand years ago... by the four greatest witches and wizards of the age: Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff... Rowena Ravenclaw and Salazar Slytherin. Now, three of the founders coexisted quite harmoniously. One did not.
Ron Weasley (to Harry): Three guesses who.
Minerva McGonagall: Salazar Slytherin wished to be more selective... about the students admitted to Hogwarts. He believed magical learning should be kept within all-magic families. In other words, pure-bloods. Unable to sway the others, he decided to leave the school. Now, according to legend... Slytherin had built a hidden chamber in this castle... known as the Chamber of Secrets. Though, shortly before departing, he sealed it... until that time when his own true Heir returned to the school. The Heir alone... would be able to open the Chamber... and unleash the horror within, and by so doing... purge the school of all those who... in Slytherin's view, were unworthy to study magic.
Hermione Granger: Muggle-borns.
Minerva McGonagall: Well. Naturally, the school has been searched many times. No such chamber has been found.
Hermione Granger: Professor? What exactly does legend tell us lies within the Chamber?
Minerva McGonagall: The Chamber is said to be home to something... that only the Heir of Slytherin can control. It is said to be the home... of a monster.