Pastor Jeff: And Jacob said: "For I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved."
Sheldon Cooper: Is this an appropriate time to mention that John 1:18 says, "No man hath seen God at any time." Who's right? Jacob or John?
Mary Cooper: Let's talk about it in the car.
Pastor Jeff: ...the Lord. (Meemaw raises her hand) Yes, Connie?
Meemaw: My grandson has a question. Let 'er rip, kid.
Pastor Jeff: Tell Sheldon I spoke to my seminary professor, and the official ruling is: God would appear to the octopus aliens in octopus alien form and save their eight-legged souls. Praise Jesus! I should put that in a sermon.
Sheldon Cooper: When you said God gave his son to the world, did you mean Earth or the universe?
Pastor Jeff: Earth.
Sheldon Cooper: But if God created the universe, wouldn't he want to save all of it?
Pastor Jeff: Yes, uh, he would.
Sheldon Cooper: Then why did you say Earth?
Pastor Jeff: "Earth" is a synonym for the universe.
Meemaw: He's grabbing at straws now.
Sheldon Cooper: So if God's plan is to save all of the universe, that means a race of octopus aliens light-years away could only be saved by Jesus?
Pastor Jeff: Sure.
Sheldon Cooper: Even though they never would've heard of him?
Pastor Jeff: Yes.
Sheldon Cooper: Even though his appearance might be terrifying to them?
Pastor Jeff: W-Why would his appearance be terrifying?
Sheldon Cooper: He has four limbs and they have eight.
Mary Cooper: Okay, that's enough.
Pastor Jeff: No, no. I prayed people would be more interested in my sermons. I suppose I should've been more specific.
Sheldon Cooper: You said he didn't create the sun until day four.
Pastor Jeff: Yeah.
Sheldon Cooper: So how could there be light the first three days?
Pastor Jeff: God is light.
Sheldon Cooper: So God's a photon?
Pastor Jeff: God's what made photons possible.
Sheldon Cooper: And what day did he do that?
Pastor Jeff: I would think day one.
Sheldon Cooper: How could you count the days...?
George Cooper Sr. (whispering to Mary): If I grab my chest and keel over, maybe we can get out of here.
Mary Cooper: That's a terrible thing to say.
Pastor Jeff: ...because the first day had just begun.
Sheldon Cooper: So, before the Big Bang?
Pastor Jeff: There was no Big Bang. There was only the Word.
Sheldon Cooper: Was the word "kaboom"?