Best 'Pastor Jeff' Quotes | Scattered Quotes

Pastor Jeff Quotes

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Pastor Jeff: And Jacob said: "For I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved."

Sheldon Cooper: Is this an appropriate time to mention that John 1:18 says, "No man hath seen God at any time." Who's right? Jacob or John?

Mary Cooper: Let's talk about it in the car.

Pastor Jeff: ...the Lord. (Meemaw raises her hand) Yes, Connie?

Meemaw: My grandson has a question. Let 'er rip, kid.

Pastor Jeff: Tell Sheldon I spoke to my seminary professor, and the official ruling is: God would appear to the octopus aliens in octopus alien form and save their eight-legged souls. Praise Jesus! I should put that in a sermon.

Sheldon Cooper: When you said God gave his son to the world, did you mean Earth or the universe?

Pastor Jeff: Earth.

Sheldon Cooper: But if God created the universe, wouldn't he want to save all of it?

Pastor Jeff: Yes, uh, he would.

Sheldon Cooper: Then why did you say Earth?

Pastor Jeff: "Earth" is a synonym for the universe.

Meemaw: He's grabbing at straws now.

Sheldon Cooper: So if God's plan is to save all of the universe, that means a race of octopus aliens light-years away could only be saved by Jesus?

Pastor Jeff: Sure.

Sheldon Cooper: Even though they never would've heard of him?

Pastor Jeff: Yes.

Sheldon Cooper: Even though his appearance might be terrifying to them?

Pastor Jeff: W-Why would his appearance be terrifying?

Sheldon Cooper: He has four limbs and they have eight.

Mary Cooper: Okay, that's enough.

Pastor Jeff: No, no. I prayed people would be more interested in my sermons. I suppose I should've been more specific.

Sheldon Cooper: You said he didn't create the sun until day four.

Pastor Jeff: Yeah.

Sheldon Cooper: So how could there be light the first three days?

Pastor Jeff: God is light.

Sheldon Cooper: So God's a photon?

Pastor Jeff: God's what made photons possible.

Sheldon Cooper: And what day did he do that?

Pastor Jeff: I would think day one.

Sheldon Cooper: How could you count the days...?

George Cooper Sr. (whispering to Mary): If I grab my chest and keel over, maybe we can get out of here.

Mary Cooper: That's a terrible thing to say.

Pastor Jeff: ...because the first day had just begun.

Sheldon Cooper: So, before the Big Bang?

Pastor Jeff: There was no Big Bang. There was only the Word.

Sheldon Cooper: Was the word "kaboom"?

Character from Young Sheldon

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