Jack Harkness: Hey, there.
Lynda Moss: Hello.
Jack Harkness: Captain Jack Harkness.
Lynda Moss: Lynda Moss.
Jack Harkness: Nice to meet you, Lynda Moss.
Doctor: Do you mind flirting outside?
Jack Harkness: I was just saying hello.
Doctor: For you, that's flirting.
Lynda Moss: I'm not complaining.
Robots: Now it's time for the face-off!
Jack Harkness: What does that mean? Do I get to compete with someone else?
Robots: No, like I said, face...off. I think you'd look good with a dog's head! Or maybe no head at all, that would be so outrageous. And we could stitch your legs to the middle of your chest. Nothing is too extreme. It's to die for.
Jack Harkness: Hold on, ladies, I don't want to have to shoot either one of you.
Robots: But you're unarmed. You're naked! But that's a Compact Laser Deluxe. Where were you hiding that?
Jack Harkness: You really don't want to know.
Mickey Smith: Wait, the Tardis, you can't just leave it. Doesn't it get noticed?
Jack Harkness: Yeah, what's with the police box? Why does it look like that?
Rose Tyler: It's a cloaking device.
Doctor: It's called a chameleon circuit. The Tardis is meant to disguise itself wherever it lands. Like, if this was ancient Rome, it'd be a statue on a plinth or something. But I landed in the 1960s, it disguised itself as a police box and the circuit got stuck.
Mickey Smith: So, it copied a real thing? There actually was police boxes?
Doctor: Yeah, on street corners. You could phone for help before they had radios and mobiles. If they arrested somebody, they could shove them inside till help came. Like a little prison cell.
Jack Harkness: Why don't you just fix the circuit?
Doctor: I like it, don't you?
Rose Tyler: I love it.
Mickey Smith: But that's what I meant, there's no police boxes anymore so doesn't it get noticed?
Doctor: Ricky, let me tell you something about the human race. You put a mysterious blue box slap-bang in the middle of town, what do they do? Walk past it. Now, stop your nagging, let's go and explore.
Mickey Smith: Who the hell's Jumping Jack Flash? I don't mind you hanging out with Big Ears up there.
Mickey Smith: Look in the mirror. But this guy, I don't know, he's kind of...
Jack Harkness: Handsome?
Mickey Smith: More like cheesy.
Jack Harkness: Early 21st century slang. Is cheesy good or bad?
Mickey Smith: It's bad.
Jack Harkness: But bad means good, isn't that right?
Doctor: You saying I'm not handsome?
Jack Harkness (about Rose and Mickey): Aw, sweet. Look at these two. How come I never get any of that?
Doctor: Buy me a drink first.
Jack Harkness: You're such hard work.
Doctor: But worth it.
Jack Harkness: Last time I was sentenced to death I ordered four hyper-vodkas for my breakfast. All a bit of a blur after that. Woke up in bed with both my executioners. Lovely couple. They stayed in touch. Can't say that about most executioners.
Jack Harkness (about a soldier): Trust me, you're not his type. I'll distract him. Don't wait up.
Doctor: Relax. He's a 51st century guy. He's just a bit more flexible when it comes to dancing.
Rose Tyler: How flexible?
Doctor: By his time, you lot are spread out across half the galaxy.
Rose Tyler: Meaning?
Doctor: So many species, so little time.
Rose Tyler: What, that's what we do when we get out there? That's our mission? We seek new life and... and...
Jack Harkness: Carry on with whatever it was you were doing.
Doctor: We were talking about dancing.
Jack Harkness: It didn't look like talking.
Rose Tyler: Didn't feel like dancing.
Jack Harkness: It's the special features, they really drain the battery.
Rose Tyler: The battery? It's so lame.
Jack Harkness: I was going to send for another one but somebody's got to blow up the factory.
Rose Tyler: I know. First day I met him, he blew my job up. That's practically how he communicates.
Doctor: Can you sense it?
Jack Harkness: Sense what?
Doctor: Coming out of the walls. Can you feel it? Funny little human brains. How do you get around in those things?
Rose Tyler: When he's stressed, he likes to insult species.
Doctor: Rose, I'm thinking!
Rose Tyler: He cuts himself shaving. He does half an hour on life-forms he's cleverer than.
Doctor: Sonic blaster, 51st century. Weapon factories of Villengard?
Jack Harkness: You've been to the factories?
Jack Harkness: They're gone now, destroyed. Main reactor went critical, vaporized the lot.
Doctor: Like I said. Once. There's a banana grove there now. I like bananas. Bananas are good.
Jack Harkness: It's a con. I was conning you. That's what I am, I'm a con man. Thought you were Time Agents. You're not, are you?
Rose Tyler: Just a couple more freelancers.
Jack Harkness: Oh! Should've known, the way you guys are blending in with the local color. Flag Girl was bad enough, but U-boat Captain?
Jack Harkness (to Doctor): Jack Harkness. I've been hearing all about you on the way over.
Rose Tyler: He knows, I had to tell him. About us being Time Agents.
Jack Harkness: And it's a real pleasure to meet you, Mr. Spock.
Doctor: Mr. Spock?
Rose Tyler: What was I supposed to say? You don't have a name. Don't you ever get tired of "Doctor"? Doctor who?
Doctor: Nine centuries in, I'm coping.